Category: Book Review

Book Review: What are you reading this summer? My recommendations.

7/17/2020

Over the last year, I have read a lot of books. Some of them were good, some were okay, and some were not that good. I read a variety of books, fiction and non-fiction. I hope that you are reading a lot during this lock down.

Reading does a lot of good things for our brains and our health. It keeps our brains sharp and capable of recognizing common words, phrases, and ideas. It gives our minds a chance to imagine people, places, things, and events that we have never actually seen or experienced. I relate to some books as taking a vacation when I read them. My mind takes me away from reality and places me a fantasy world for the time I am reading.

I would love for you to comment about what you are reading and if you want to recommend a book, I would love to learn that also.

Please take a moment to leave your book comments and/or recommendations in the comments either here on the blog or on the On Fire Facebook page. Thanks!

Here is a short list of some I read and found good to be good in random order. No matter what your interests are or your needs, you will find that one of these books will fill the order. Enjoy!:

If He's So Great, Why Do I feel So Bad? by Avery Neal - I wrote a blog book review on this book, I recommended it for every woman, no matter what age, read it. It was an eye opener for me and I am over fifty years old. The games people play with our hearts is sometimes subtle, but always cruel.

Muscle and a Shovel by Michael Shank - A true story about a young couple who while relocating to a city to pursue their dreams, meet a man who turns their spiritual beliefs upside-down. This book has changed many many lives for the better. It will touch your soul.

Choice Theory by William Glasser, M.D. - A new psychology of personal freedom. This book is another recommendation for anyone who wants to live the life you want while not losing people you love and need. It's common sense that is not all that common.

Ashes of Her Love by Pierre Alex Jeanty - A book about recovering from a romantic breakup (marriage, dating, etc.), written in prose. Each page is dedicated to a unique feeling or situation. This book is written in a format similar to prose and it was beautifully done.

Behold a Pale Horse by William Cooper – Cooper is a former US Naval Intelligence Briefing Team Member and he reveals (with documentation) information that will either chill you to the bone or raise your interest to the highest level possible. No subject is off limits if he can find documentation. Nothing.

The Basement Quilt by Ann Hazelwood - This was her first book of fiction and it is part of a series. You will meet some wonderful characters that you will most likely find one that you identify with and will want to read more about. Ann carries these characters throughout her series while also introducing other interesting characters. The stories are a mixture of love, mystery, life and it's changes, and of course, quilting. Quilts play a main role in each of her books in this series. A real vacation book that left me feeling good.

Sleeping Beauties by Stephen King - The wild and crazy imagination of Stephen King is turned loose in this odd story about many many women suddenly falling to sleep with no real reason or seemingly connection to one another. It will leave you asking what did I just read? Love Stephen King.

These are the books I am planning to read this summer:

There is a River by Thomas Sugrue – This is the true story of Edgar Cayce. Whether you agree or believe or not, this book will give you much food for thought on what you believe and what you think you believe.

Doctor Sleep by Stephen King - Should be another good read as it is the sequel to The Shining. The New York Times says “[A] Vivid Frightscape”. Hope so.

If I get through those 2 books before the end of summer, I will start one of these and hopefully I will finish the following before the end of September 🙂:

Healing Secrets of the Native Americans by Porter Shimer - A book full of medicinal wisdom used by Native Americans. It is full of useful information about many ailments.

To Scotland with Love by Patience Griffin – A romance about choices set in the beautiful Scottish seaside town of Gandiegow.

The Quilter's Daughter by Wanda E. Brunstetter – Volume 2 in the Daughters of Lancaster County. A young Amish woman faces tragedy and doubts her faith. She becomes reluctant
to love – again.

America, A Narrative History by George Brown Tindall and David E. Shi – first printing 1984. Written BEFORE our history was revised. 🙂

Reading is a great way to keep your mind healthy. Following a plot line or learning new self help techniques and all the other things we get from reading help our brain retain and build new connections that keep it young and healthy.

There are so many options for “reading” a book. Books can be downloaded on tablets, phones, or computers to be read like a hardcover book. You can also “read” an audio book. A recorded book can go anywhere with you. Your library is an excellent place to download books that are free. You can even request a book and they will try to get it for you. You can also borrow a physical book from your library or purchase a book from any bookstore, online or brick and mortar.

Take some time this summer
(and during the COVID stay in place life)
to read a book.
It won't hurt you and
it will only help you.

Please share your interesting (or not interesting) reads so far this year. Share any recommendations you have, I am always looking for a new book. I get a lot of suggestions from others. Read, read, read!

XOXO

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Book Review: The Truth About Men - by DeVon Franklin (A great book mostly for men, but also for women)

6/12/2020

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Evolution. When we hear this word, visions of monkeys and apes no doubt appear in our minds. That is not the evolution I am speaking of.... it's the evolution of man to be the man he was meant to be.

As older adults we have a responsibility to try to help the younger generations navigate the world in a way that makes it better for each generation to come.

We have the opportunity to change the world for women... men have the opportunity to change the world for women and for themselves in a much needed way.

Men can change the course of generations to come for their daughters, granddaughters, wives, sisters, mothers, and all the men in their lives. The question is – Are men willing to change old habits, burst old excuses, and become strong men rather than dogs in a pack?

In DeVon Franklin's book, The Truth About Men, he talks about the dog that every man has within himself. He talks about the excuses that have been created to excuse the bad behavior of men over many generations. It took DeVon a few years to figure out that he was on this "traditional road" and was using these same excuses to “get away with it” and not be held accountable for his bad behavior towards the three lusts of men: the lust for money, the lust for power, and the lust for sex. When he realized what was happening he worked to change, to become disciplined in his thoughts and actions towards these three lusts of mankind.

Here are a few of those manufactured excuses for the bad behavior in men that have been passed down from generation to generation and accepted as true, even though they are lies:

Men will be men.

It's in men's DNA to behave that way.

It'a okay to look, but don't touch.

What my wife/girlfriend doesn't know won't hurt her.

The only difference in men and boys is cost of their toys.

There are many many more excuses, created to excuse men for disrespecting their wives/girlfriends, their bosses, or chasing greed.

This isn't a new thing, it has been this way for a long, long time and in every country. Some countries are worse than others when it comes to these behaviors.

Society has promoted this “it's a man's world” mentality through the increased access to pornography through the internet, relaxed restrictions on R and X ratings on movies, and the changes to music lyrics (more sexual and degrading to women). All of these creative outlets have lead to the objectification of women as being normal and acceptable.

Specifically, in Hollywood and the music Industry, many men have succumbed to the three lusts of man : They make a lot of money, they gain a lot of power, and the women flock to them and they go with it. Inevitably it leads to the wreckage of their lives or at the very least destruction of their careers and/or marriages.

When DeVon speaks “training the dog”, he is not referring to women training men. He is referring to men training themselves to control the dog within them.

He states that this “dog” in men has been left untrained for far too long and has developed into a “pack” mentality. In other words, guys follow guys and thus the behavior continues. If men could learn to train the dog within themselves, before long that would become the norm and the pack mentality would result in a pack of trained dogs.

Trained dogs that are more respected, more attractive to women, and more inclined to behavior that promotes happy lives for all.

There are a lot of really good, strong, men in this world. They are the ones that remain silent when their male friends make sexual remarks about a woman they see who is not their wife. He is the one who looks at a woman and sees God's creation, not a sexual object put there for his personal gratification.

These wonderful men work hard but are not ruled by money. They are powerful, but they use it wisely and respectfully.

They love women, but respect them as humans and as individuals, not as objects to be admired physically.

These are men who do not think jokes that put women in a sexually objective light are funny and will not participate or repeat.

These are the men who have trained the dog within them and become the master of their own minds, hearts, and lives. These are truly strong men to be admired.

I recommend this book to the men who read my blog and to the male friends and family of all readers of my blog.

I also recommend that women read this book (even though DeVon wrote it primarily to men) so that they can encourage their men and be aware of the changes they are trying to make.

While I used the audio version of this book that I obtained from my library, if you don't have access to a copy at your library, you can purchase it on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/35tLLuR

Let's encourage men to become the real men they were meant to be instead of pack of untrained dogs so we can also get rid of this excuse:

“Men, can't live with them, can't live without them.”
- Sheryl 2020 -
(Reword of a quote from Desiderius Erasmus, Dutch Philosopher)

Remember, we (the over 50 adult) have a lot of influence over the younger generations, if we approach it right. Suggesting a book like DeVon Franklin's is a good starting place, if they will read it. The biggest influence is in how we behave, the example we set, the life that we lead.

Do you as a woman, feel that men get away with far too much and that those common excuses (men will be men, etc.) contribute to the acceptance of this bad behavior? As men, do you see the dog in yourself? Is your dog trained or does he run wild with the pack? Comments are encouraged.

XOXO

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Book Review: If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? - by Avery Neal

4/17/2020

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This is an excellent book that I recommend every woman read. Yes, every woman. The author clearly lays out the patterns of emotional abusers.

NOTE: This blog is written about a male abuser and a female victim. However, men could benefit from this book also. It could help a man identify himself as abuser, when he may not know he is. It can also help a man identify his abuser because the same tactics can be used by women to abuse men.)

Abuse comes in all forms not just physical. Sometimes emotional abuse is harder to overcome. Emotional abuse is harder to see than the physical bruises or scars. Often the one being abused doesn't even know they are being abused, they just know they are not happy and don't know why.

Emotional abuse can occur in all relationships:

Daughter/Mom or Dad;
Son/Mom or Dad;
Husband/Wife; Boyfriend/Girlfriend;
between two friends;
and any other relationship.

In this book Avery Neal directs it towards the Male/Female relationship (married or boyfriend/girlfriend).

An emotional abuser is someone who uses certain tactics, practices, concepts, etc., to gain control over another person emotionally.

They can be well liked by everyone , friends, co-workers, members of their church, neighbors, other family members, but with the one they live and sleep with is a different story. They can make that person feel horrible, but also bonded to them in such a way that the person will do anything to make them happy.

How does an abuser gain control over their victim?

A concept called Traumatic Bonding.
This is a when the abuser uses kindness and abusiveness intermingled. One minute he is kind and compassionate, the next he is verbally abusing you. You don't give up because he is, after all, a sweet person – sometimes. This is how he controls you and keeps you.

What are some other clues or results of Emotional Abuse?

Tip Toeing is a self-preservation technique that many women can identify with.

At one time you felt comfortable speaking up and saying what was on your mind. At some point, it changes and you realize if you say a certain thing, he will punish you somehow (verbally). You learn what to say, when to say it, how to say it and what not to say. In the end, you may shut down completely.

Another technique an abusive man may use to make you dependent on him is Gaslighting:

Gaslighting is a term taken from the 1944 movie “Gaslight” with Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman.

In the movie Charles Boyer (the husband) does things to cause Ingrid Bergman (the wife) doubt her sanity and rely more on him.

This is a form of psychological abuse. It is making subtle and increasing changes in a relationship to make you feel that you are going crazy. It weakens your self confidence. You become depressed.

The abuser's repentance:
He says he is sorry, but he doesn't change the behavior. He is only saying he is sorry to temporarily appease you. He will not change his behavior because in the end, it works for him in controlling you.

After a few times of apologies and then repeating the behavior, you will probably give up and accept that he will never change. At that moment, he has won the battle.

You may learn to deal with the abuser by "cozying" up to them. You agree with them when you really don't agree, you cave in to avoid conflict.

When your self esteem is low, after repeated psychological abuse, you begin to wonder if their statements are true. The crazier the abuser can make you feel, the more power he has over you.

Here is a list of “possible” reactions of the abuser to control you:

When you don't say, do, or react the way they want you to, they lash out at you (sometimes in the form of yelling or insulting).

The abuser gives you the silent treatment. They ignore you. For a period of time, you don't exist.

This is different that when they withdraw emotionally, which can seem like the same thing.

However, withdrawing emotionally means they can be really nice, treat you good, but withhold affection (either verbal or physical). You lose that emotional connection even though he is treating you “good” (on the surface). You keep thinking he will come around and eventually, he does...but at his own convenience when he thinks he has strengthened his control over you.

He may say things that “belittle” you. It may be something about your appearance, the way you talk, your religious beliefs, your political beliefs, anything that is personal to you, he can use to belittle you.
This tears away at your self confidence and BINGO! He has gained more power over you. This is especially true if you genuinely believe these “belittles” are true.

The abuser may play the victim. In this action, he will say or do something to hurt you and then make you feel bad for him.

For example, he says you are not what he really wanted but you are the best he can do, because he isn't handsome enough. He doesn't believe this, he is only saying it to draw you in to him through sympathy. This one works best with a sensitive woman.

The last tactic I want to highlight is the one where the abuser turns the table on you. In other words, he does something hurtful to you BECAUSE of something you did to him. In his view, you caused it and he was only taking up for himself, which isn't the truth.

As you can see, identifying an abuser from someone who is just rebelling can be tricky. If the person does all of the above (and maybe some things that are not mentioned, but are equally controlling), you can probably safely say they are an abuser.

However, if a person only does one of the above or maybe two, it could be they are just immature emotionally and don't know how to deal with certain issues.

If you determine the person is actually an abuser and you are in an abusive relationship, you have three choices:
1. Stay in the relationship the way it is and remain abused;
2) Seek professional help such as therapy;
3) Leave the relationship.

If you have the opportunity to read this book,
I recommend you read it.
No matter what the situation,
the knowledge can help you now and in the future.
If you know someone who can use this information,
refer this book to them.
I got my copy from the library on audio. It was free! Use your library.
If you can't find it at your library, you can purchase it here:
https://amzn.to/2UBJ3hU

Did you identify with any of the above behaviors? Have you come out of an emotionally controlling relationship? If so, how did you break the bond? Do you know someone who is or has been in an emotionally abusive relationship? Please share your thoughts and stories to help others.

XOXO

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Book Review: "All Things New" - 30 Days on Identity and Issues by Josh Stone and Gene Shumaker

4/12/2019

1 Comment

Another new author, Josh Stone, that I met in my new bathroom along with my plumber, co- wrote a book with another new author Gene Shumaker. This book is about finding out who you are internally and working on the issues that hold you back from your full potential.

Josh and Gene write from a Biblical perspective. Most of what they write is common sense, but some of it stands to be reminders of where we come from. We were all with God before we were born. We were all born the same way and we die. We all return to God and our fate for eternity is decided by him.

All Things New is a well written book for anyone who is wondering about who they are from a spiritual standpoint. There may be points in the book that you disagree with but the overall view of the book is to live what you believe and you will know who you are.

The authors stress the importance of dealing with past issues or mistakes. Don't run from your past, deal with it – all of it – the hurt, the shame, the anger, whatever may be, deal with it then move on.

Don't drown and waste your life in self-pity or think that you are unforgivable. God forgives and we must learn to forgive ourselves. Fear, insecurity, and those doubts we have only serve to keep us from joy.

To have true freedom from our past or our mistakes and failures, we must face them head on. This book is good for doing that. Each day is opened with a scripture. This is a good way to begin any day.

“For freedom Christ has
set us free;
stand firm therefore, and
do not submit again to
a yoke of slavery.”
Galatians 5:1 (ESV)

You can purchase this book here: https://amzn.to/2U4Ec6k

Do you need a restart button for your life? Do you find that you can not let go of the past? This book may be able to help you. Don't let your past dictate or ruin your future.

XOXO

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Book Review: “As You're Going” by Brett Harig – His first book, a local author

2/15/2019

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Authors come from everywhere. I have met them selling jewelry at craft fairs, preaching sermons at churches, in book clubs at libraries, sitting next to me in theaters, lots of places. One place I never thought of as a place to meet an author was in my own bathroom putting in a new shower stall, but that's where I met Brett Harig and discovered a talented brand new author.
On the second day of my bathroom update project, he asked me where I went to church and that opened a whole conversation up about a book he wrote. I ordered his book from Amazon and it arrived a couple of days later. It's a short book and well written.

Brett writes about discipleship. He shares his personal experiences His message is that we should spend more time teaching others about Christ and less on the things that don't really matter. He stresses that we are responsible for the lives of others whether we teach them or we don't.

He had this to say about discipleship when I spoke with him further on this subject:

“It's never too late to start making disciples.
You will always be able to reach or teach someone I'll never be able to.
This is the great commission given to us all regardless of age.”

Brett Harig, December 8, 2018

He speaks of his “slump” and how he became disconnected from God. In the later chapters he discusses his sin of “pride”. Once Brett figured out his priorities, he regained his relationship with God.

While I don't agree with some of his thoughts on some scriptures in regard to the Holy Spirit, I do agree with him on his message and I love the way he expresses it. He uses his personal experiences to get the point across
.
The Bible commissioned all of us to go out into the world and teach people the gospel. The problem is we do and we don't do this. We sometimes think that if we say “Come to church with me on Sunday” that's enough. It's not. It's more than that.

Teaching people the gospel as we have been commissioned to do is about living the life. Living the life that Christ instructs us to live. It includes going to services but it is so much more. It's helping others when they need help, feeding the hungry, visiting the sick and elderly, all those benevolent things...but it is so much more than that.

It's about living the life so that others will want to know how you do it. You live happy even when your world is crumbling around you; you live without some of the more expensive things in life that you really don't need, so that you can fund a project to feed the hungry and homeless. It's caring and doing.

The one element in all this caring and doing, is to teach about Christ. DO NOT PREACH or PRESSURE that is not discipling. To teach, all you need to do is remember Christ. For example, if you go out to eat lunch with a friend, ask if they would like to say a prayer for the food. If they say no, say may I? If they say no, then reply with a very polite, “no problem, give me a minute as I pray for myself,” then do it. That is teaching. You don't have to get into “Why can't I say a prayer with you or for you?” or “Well, I am going to pray anyway.” Be nice, be kind, but do it.

This is the message of Brett's book. The Bible says,

“Be wise as serpents, but harmless as doves.”

That's the plan.
Besides being a great plumber, Brett is a great writer. This is his first book and it touches on a subject that is often neglected. He found the words to teach us about being true disciples. This is a book about living what you teach and taking every opportunity to teach it.

While Brett is not over 50, his ideas in this book about living can be applied to the over 50 life. We should not simply go through life following the numbers, but we should go through life creating new numbers!

I asked Brett "why" he wrote this book, here is what he said:

"I wrote this book because that's where I was led to.
A couple of years ago I really disliked reading and writing.
That how I know it was from God because it was something I was comfortable with.
I felt there was a need to share the way God revealed to me to make disciples in a practical way."

Brett Harig, December 9, 2018

If you interested in Brett's book you can purchase it on Amazon.
( https://amzn.to/2AKA19b )

Be sure and leave Brett an Amazon review if you like it 🙂.
Do you appreciate and make the most of each day you have? Do you know how to effectively and practically teach others what you believe? Have you met a new author that you would like to tell us about? Introduce the On Fire Community to your new find.

XOXO

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Book Review: The Clean 20 by Ian K. Smith, M.D., - My Short Review

9/14/2018

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On the front cover it says "20 Foods, 20 Days, Total Transformation!" Right off the bat, I am skeptical. Total Transformation? Really in on 20 Days?

I am someone who has spent the last two and half years getting healthy, losing a lot of weight (I will write about at a later date), going through some transformations of my own. It is not easy, it is not quick, it didn't happen in 20 days.

However, having said all that, I am not going to say this book is not worth the read. I won't discount the information in this book, because I think it has some merit. It is worth reading.

If you try it and you are totally transformed in 20 days - bravo! But don't be discouraged if you are not totally transformed in 20 days, if you follow the guidelines of this book, you will see some changes.

Here is a short review of what you will find in this book:

A. Dr. Smith promotes "clean eating'. Clean eating is a diet of natural, unprocessed foods. Also, to get your food from producers who do not use chemicals of any kind on their crops or on the pasture that animals eat from. If you can eat it raw, that is the optimum form. However, some foods must be cooked before consuming, such as chicken, turkey, and eggs.

B. This is not a vegetarian diet. Dr. Smith says that dairy is good, cheese is included, chicken and turkey are included, as well as eggs, seafood, and yogurt. Dr. Smith makes suggestions on how to select your 20 foods.

The 20 Foods are:
1. Avocado
2. Berries
3. Cheese
4. Chicken
5. Chickpeas
6. Eggs
7. Kale
8. Lemons
9. Lentils
10. Nuts and Seeds
11. Oatmeal
12. Quinoa
13. Seafood
14. Squash
15. Sweet Potatoes
16. Tomatoes
17. Turkey
18. Whole-Grain Bread
19. Whole-Wheat Pasta
20. Yogurt

C. There are 14 Rules of the Clean Eating Diet:
1. Dairy is good.
2. No Alcohol
3. No Soda
4. On Freshly Squeezed Juice
5. Unlimited Water - Please!!!!
6. No Sugar Addd
7. No Artificial Sweeteners
8. Fruits and Vegetables are Your Friends
9. No MSG
10. No Frying
11. No White Flour
12. Careful with Condiments
13. Canned and Frozen are permitted
14. Salad Dressings are Allowed with Restrictions

D.   The Plan allows for Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and Two Snacks

E. The Exercise Component:

1. Walking
2. Various Stretching, Cardio, etc.

F.  Each Day Has a Different Focus Point to Meditate On
(This is my favorite part of the book!):

1. Reset
2. Expect
3. Believe
4. Prepare
5. Focus
6. Cleanse
7. Visualize
8. Enjoy
9. Balance
10. Organize
11. Push
12. Decelerate
13. Move
14. Relax
15. Experiment
16. Restore
17. Introduce
18. Lead
19. Appreciate
20. Thrive

G. The book has a large number of recipes.

H.  It includes a list of clean snacks.

I. Every exercise that he asks you to do can be found in the back of the book.

J.  There is an extensive list of allowed condiments, spices, and details about the clean twenty foods.

Dr. Smith has detailed the food list and exercises for you. He makes it very easy to know what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. My two favorite parts of the book are the daily focus points. These are awesome at helping me stay motivated. The other favorite is the recipes. I am always looking for new things to try.

In my case, counting calories is the only way I have found that works for me. It is the only way I have been able to stay with my weight loss. Over the years I have tried to count points, food exchanges, fad diets where you eat cabbage or eggs or grapefruit, Adkins, Nutrasystem, South Beach, or some other diet.

Of all these diets I have tried, I use the South Beach diet cookbook. I also pull the parts of each of these diets that works for me.
But in the end, I count calories. Dr. Smith does not consider calories in his diet.

I hope this helps you understand "The Clean 20" idea.
Please comment any questions or thoughts you have.

The important thing is, find something that works for you. We are all different and our needs are different. Calorie counting may not work for you, you may need prepared meals or count points. That is what you have to decide. This is an excellent book no matter what diet plan you are using. The recipes, exercises, and daily focal points are worth it just by themselves.

Yes! I recommend this book!

Do you have a meal plan or exercise plan that works for you that you would like to share with others? Please share what you do to maintain or lose weight. This is a huge issue for everyone, but especially women, after the age of 50 because our metabolism and chemistry changes as we age.

XOXO

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Book Review: Life, Death, and Beyond (Third Printing September 2001) by Mack Lyon / What is the meaning of life? Is life worth living?

6/8/2018

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If you are over a certain age you have pondered the question of life after death. More specifically, is there life after death? Is Heaven real? Is Hell real? Where have my deceased loved ones gone?

Mack Lyon was a minister of the gospel of Christ in Edmond, Oklahoma. He lead a successful international television and radio program - In Search of the Lord's Way. He had served churches in Oklahoma, Texas, Arizona, and New Jersey. He and his family had also served as missionaries in western Australian.

Mack covers a wide variety of subjects in this book from life, the meaning of life, what about heaven and hell. He also tackles the difficult subjects of human suffering, abortion and the Christian, do-it yourself death - euthanasia, is there life after death, the resurrection and the judgement.

The "biggie" question for me personally is what is the meaning of life and is it worth living?
I have asked myself these questions many times, mostly when I was struggling.

The Meaning of Life

In Philippians 1:20 the apostle Paul prayed:
"Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life or by death", he added, "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Mack Lyon explains it this way, "He's (Paul) simply saying that for him, and for all Christians, life is not simply a matter of the 'period between birth and death'; it isn't just 'being alive,' or even striving to get ahead, or being a success, or making a name for oneself. It isn't owning lands and houses and cattle and oil wells and automobiles or amassing a large estate to pass on to the next generation; that isn't what life is all about.

Life isn't just 'being good and doing good' as important as that is. Rather it is to do what we do, and be what we are for Christ. It is to so totally lose our time, our energies, our talents, and our prosperity in Him that Christ may be glorified in our bodies whether by life or by death."

Is Life Worth Living?

Philippians 1:15-21, Mack paraphrases it this way: "You came not into the world because you chose or when you chose, but because God had need of you."

What is life all about? What are we doing here? Is there any real purpose in the universe? Is there any meaning in life? Scientific materialism says no, Humanism says only we create and develop our futures here. Is it any wonder, then, that many people are asking, "Is life worth living?"
[Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in America (pg 10).]

Life consists of five elements: (1) time; (2) talent; (3) energy; (4) productivity; (5) and purpose.

Mack refers to "a study conducted by University of Akron sociologist Margaret Poloma revealed that people who feel close to God on a personal basis have a deeper sense of purpose and are happier with their health.

Poloma says, 'Religion has been under emphasized as a factor leading to life satisfaction.' The study which she presented to the American Sociological Association also suggested that religious identity is the most important factor in a person finding happiness in life - even more important than job success or family."

Yes, it is worth living.
Two reasons why it is worth living:

As long as you breathe you can be a positive influence on another person. You can show them love and how to live. You can stop another person from suicide.
As long as you breathe you can do the work that God has given you, teach others the gospel and thereby, save their souls.

In this book, Mack deals with each subject with compassion for man, but foremost a commitment to God' Word.

In this book is a beautiful poem written by Robert Whitaker, well thought out and worded. It should be inspirational to any reader:

Live for something, have a purpose,
And that purpose keep in view;
Drifting like a helpless vessel,
Thou canst ne'er to life be true.

Half the wrecks that strew life's ocean,
If some star had been their guide,
Might have now been riding safely,
But, they drifted with the tide.

Live for something, and live in earnest,
By the world of men unnoticed,
Through the work may humble be,
Known alone to God and thee.

Every Act has priceless value;
To the Architect of fate;
'Tis the spirit of thy doing
That alone will make it great.

Live for something - God and angels
Are they watchers in the strife,
And above the smoke and conflict
Gleams the victor's crown of life.

Live for something; God has given
Freely of His stores divine;
Richest gifts of earth and heaven,
If thou willest, may be thine.

If you struggle to find a purpose and meaning for your life or if you struggle to keep a desire for living, I would recommend this book. It is educational, thought provoking, and provides solid answers. You can purchase this book here: https://amzn.to/2Lfw5Qe

Mack Lyon died in 2015 at the age of 94 years old and
he was active right up to his death.

If you struggle with life at any age, but especially as we cross over that 50 mark and beyond, don't let it get you down and keep you down. There are books and people that can help. Sometimes all it takes is getting off the sofa or out of our homes and just going for it. Take a leap and see where you land. Do something out of the usual.

Push yourself.
don't crash and burn.....
rise from the ashes!

On fire!

Have you struggled with finding a purpose for living or even the will to live? Please share your struggle with us, it will help us but it will also help you. Together, we can rise above anything. What did you think of the review of Mack Lyon's book? Is it something you would read?

XOXO

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Encouragement: Ending April with Positive Visualizations With Deep Breathing!

4/27/2018

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“Those who cannot change their minds
cannot change anything.
- George Bernard Shaw -
Irish playwright, critic, polemicist, and political activist
(26 July 1856 – 2 November 1950)

April is a wonderful month, it's spring in full swing. Some people experience depression and anxiety through the winter months and return to happiness in the spring. Others do not get over it, it is a year round illness. This week I want to try to encourage you to practice those techniques we learned about this month and bounce back from stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses. Let's end April with joy!

“When you're finished changing, you're finished.”
-Benjamin Franklin-
(January 17, 1706 – April 17, 1790)

We learned what anxiety is and how to possibly recognize the symptoms. In part 2 of this series we learned about depression – what it is and how to treat it. Of all the ideas we looked at to treat these disorders, in my opinion, it all boils down to one thing – Lifestyle Changes that are positive on your physical and mental health.
Not everything can be cured with positive lifestyle changes, but everything can be helped by them. In other words, if you watch tv for several hours a day...get up and walk instead; if you eat a lot of fast food...try to make better choices, healthier choices; even a couple of positive changes can have a huge impact on your well being.

Don't try to change everything all at once, take baby steps. Start with one small change and work on that until you it becomes habit. Then move on to the next change, Before long you will notice that with each change, you feel better and better.
Change must first take place in our mind. We must want to change and we must have the mindset that we are going to change. Just as George Bernard Shaw stated 'those who cannot change their mind, cannot change anything”. That is a true statement. Until you want to change and set your mind to it, you won't.
But often, if we just head out in the direction of the change we want to make and we experience a slight bit of success, that is all it takes to get the ball rolling on the change mindset. A little encouragement can go a long, long way.
I know this to be true. I was over weight for several years and attempts to lose it were futile...until I changed my whole way of thinking. Once that took place, everything else fell into place and I began losing a lot of weight...a lot.a
Not only will your body thank you for these changes, but your mind will benefit, also.

Any change, even a change for the better,
is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.
-Arnold Bennett-
British novelist, playwright, critic, and essayist

I challenge you to put some of the ideas in Part 3 into action in your own life. Even if you only put one into action, you will feel more positive. Start with an easy one. Experience a few successes and then see if you aren't ready to conquer anything!
I highly recommend this book:

This is a wonderful book about
depression and anxiety as we grow older.
You should find a copy and read the whole book,
it will be worth it.

Have you read a life changing book recently? Have you changed something in your life and although it was hard, you stayed with it until you were successful? If not, why not? Please share your thoughts. A lot of us are going through these issues and we need help. Your input might make the difference in someone's life.

XOXO

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Book Review: Getting Old Without Getting Anxious - Part 3 of 3 Conclusion

4/20/2018

1 Comment

Now we understand what depression and anxiety is from the last two blog posts. Now what can we do to protect, avoid, reverse, or control anxiety or depression we age?
There are some preventative things we can do that may even decrease or at least help control anxiety or depression.

Here are a few that are referred to as calming therapies:

1. Tai Chi: combines meditation, yoga, and breathing

2. Proper Breathing: The following is a direct excerpt from the book on an anxiety-reducing breathing technique:
" The following breath is adapted from yogic breathing techniques. This approach involves slow abdominal breathing, with the focus on an elongated exhale.
Sit comfortably with feet flat on the floor and eyes closed.
Exhale completely.
Take a deep, slow breath in through the nose to a count of four
Feel the stomach grow soft and expand with the deep inhalation.
Slowly release the deep breath and exhale very slowly through the mouth. to a count of six. Pull in the stomach to expel all the remaining breath.
Relax and let go, feeling the tension vanish.
Repeat for up to five minutes.
This breath is effective in calming panic and sleeplessness. Patients with phobic disorders can also use it to cope with stressful situations."

3. Biofeedback: Mind-body connection - Typically, attached device to finger connecting them to a machine that measures skin temperature or perspiration. It then produces a signal, like a beep or a light, wen tense teaching the person how to recognize anxiety.

4. Meditation /Prayer: Taking time out of your day to focus on something besides yourself and the world around you can relieve stress and anxiety. Closing your eyes and focusing on breathing, God, or your favorite place (beach, mountains, home) takes your mind away from the things that are creating the stress. It doesn't have to be a long time out, five minutes, 20 minutes, an hour, it doesn't matter....just do it.

5. Visualization: Visualization is one of the most helpful techniques available to relieve stress and anxiety. You can visualize a special place (a tropical island, a cabin on a mountain top, a hammock under a beautiful oak tree, etc.), a special moment (the birth of your child, your wedding day, etc.) or a dream you have (a future lover, losing weight, purchasing that hot sports car, etc). It is thought by many that if you can visualize something, you can make it happen.

6. Yoga: Yoga poses and the meditation portion of this technique is relaxing. Your body will thank you for it as well, as your mind. You can do only the poses that you feel comfortable with, as the important thing is to just do something. Also, taking your mind to another time or place helps to relieve stress. Yoga is an excellent activity for all ages as their are so many levels of this technique: Senior Yoga, Chair Yoga, Hot Yoga, Traditional Yoga, Couples Yoga, etc.

7. Accentuate the positive: Breaking the negative thought pattern can be a challenge. Menopause for one thing can make it very hard. If you want to recover from anxiety or depression, you need to learn to accentuate the positive. Think of the cup as half full instead of half empty, if you were able to rise from your bed without help – remember that some people need assistance, if you needed assistance rising from your bed this morning―remember, some people are not able to even get out of bed. There is always someone worse off than you are. Think on the positive!

8. Gratitude: Thankfulness (AKA gratitude) is a game changer no matter what ails you. You at your life and find all the positive and wonderful things about it. Express your gratitude to your family, friends, God, or yourself. Always, always, always be grateful for what you have.

9. Lifestyle Changes:

Walkiing
Exercise
Creativity
Support Groups
Spiritual Practices
Volunteering
Nutrition
Pets
Sleep
Laughter

Accepting the inevitable:
Grow older is something we should hope to do as the alternative is death. However, accepting that death is coming should encourage us to live as much and as long as we can. We can't stop death, but we can stop wasting our lives and we can begin to enjoy every last minute of our lives.
Let's go out on fire!

I can't say this enough:

This is a wonderful book about
depression and anxiety as we grow older.
You should find a copy and read the whole book,
it will be worth it.

Have you ever tried any of the techniques to relieve stress? Did you find anything in this book review that helped you? Do you have any techniques that are not included in this review that you have used and helped you? Please share!

XOXO

1 Comment

Book Review: Getting Old Without Getting Anxious - Part 2 of 3 (Depression)

4/13/2018

0 Comments

This is a wonderful book about
depression and anxiety as we grow older.
You should find a copy and read the whole book,
it will be worth it.

Many people think that being old means being sad. This leads to depression in the elderly. Being a sad older adult does not have to mean being sad.

In many cultures across the globe, older people are taken care of by the family. They are encouraged to be independent as long as possible. As a result, there are fewer nursing and assisted living facilities (some places actually don't have any) and the elderly live longer and happier. Most of them live independent lives.

In America (and a few other places) the elderly are often considered useless and burdensome to most people. Younger people are often too busy with careers, hobbies, children, etc., to take elderly parents into their homes to live or to help them live on their own as long as possible. As a result, elderly Americans can often look forward to living their “golden” years in nursing or assisted living facilities alone and housed with strangers. Often with people with serious mental decline such as Alzheimers or dementia. Depression is common among America's seniors.

Symptoms of Depression:

Sad or unhappy mood most days
Lack of self-confidence, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, etc.
Most days experiences physical symptoms such as:

Pain
Dizziness
Oversleeping
Insomnia
Low or no energy
Poor Appetite
Irritable
Trouble Concentrating
Loss of Interest in hobbies, social activities, etc.

What causes Depression?

Illness – heart, pancreas, lungs, stroke, Parkinson's, Alzheimers
Poor Diet – irregular meals, vitamin deficiencies (B Vitamins, Omega 3, etc.)
Alcohol Sedatives – barbituates, Valium, Restoril to name a few
Chronic Pain
Social Isolation (loneliness)
Genetics – Prone to Depression
Trauma or Stress – traumatic events, stressful events
Medications – Prednisone, Reserpine, Alphamethyl, Bensodiazepines (Valium, Xanax, Ativan)

Treatment Options:

Psychotherapy – Depressed people often get locked into a habit of negative thoughts and simply need help to break this habit. Singular and/or group therapy is helpful.
Medicine – SSRIs (Selective Serotonin reuptake inhibitors) Celexa, Lexapro, Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Effexor *mild) are a few, Other options: Eluvil, Totranil, Pumelor (Strollger), Herbal: St John's Wort, SAM-e.
Electroshock Therapy (ECT)
Aerobic Exercise

Remember, depression is not supposed to be automatic when you become a certain age. It can be caused from a number of things. Sometimes it is just the way we are looking at growing older. If we are ill or hurt, we still don't need to accept depression. Depression hinders your recovery from illness, injuries, and surgeries. Stay positive and if you can't do it by yourself, seek help.

I experienced a deep depression in my fifties. My children were leaving home and making a life for themselves. During this same time, I was going through menopause and that contributed to my problems. After several years, I found my way out of it. I had to make changes to my life. I had to change my thinking. Fortunately, I was able to find my own way out. If I had not been able to heal myself, I would have sought therapy.

If you are experiencing depression and you can't seem to get out of it, do not delay in getting outside help. Seek assistance from your medical doctor as soon as you can. Find out what is causing the depression and deal with it. Your life is too precious to waste feeling sad.

Have you ever been so depressed that you sought out help? Did you visit a therapist? If you recovered from your depression, what helped you do so? Do you have a friend or family member who suffers from depression? Have you tried to help them? Please share any tips or lessons you learned when helping someone else or helping yourself get out of the depression cycle.

XOXO

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<<Previous

Book Review: What are you reading this summer? My recommendations.

Book Review: The Truth About Men - by DeVon Franklin (A great book mostly for men, but also for women)

Book Review: If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? - by Avery Neal

Book Review: "All Things New" - 30 Days on Identity and Issues by Josh Stone and Gene Shumaker

Book Review: “As You're Going” by Brett Harig – His first book, a local author

Book Review: The Clean 20 by Ian K. Smith, M.D., - My Short Review

Book Review: Life, Death, and Beyond (Third Printing September 2001) by Mack Lyon / What is the meaning of life? Is life worth living?

Encouragement: Ending April with Positive Visualizations With Deep Breathing!

Book Review: Getting Old Without Getting Anxious - Part 3 of 3 Conclusion

Book Review: Getting Old Without Getting Anxious - Part 2 of 3 (Depression)

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