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Sex After 50: 7 Tips for Better  Sex After 50 - Protect Your Relationship

5/29/2020

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Most sexual problems after the age of 50 are the direct result in a breakdown in communication:

Years of raising children and losing contact with each other on a personal level. Raising children can be stressful at times. Busy schedules created by children's activities can cause stress. Discipline issues create problems when parents can't agree on the discipline choice. These can cause communication issues between parents if they are not dealt with properly. Both parents need to be considerate of each other and work as a team. After the children are raised, you may find that you have lost communication with your partner and have nothing to talk about. Fix this! Fix this fast. If you can prevent it from happening to begin with - that is the best solution.

Undiscussed health issues, one partner or the other doesn't feel well or has heart issues, high blood pressure, etc., and they haven't talked about it with the other partner. If either one of you don't feel well or you have lost your desire for sex, don't ignore it. Discuss it with your partner and if needed, discuss with a healthcare professional. Most issues can be resolved easily. There is no need to suffer when there is help available.

Open wounds to the relationship caused by one or both partners. This could be something as small as an unresolved argument or as serious as an affair. It can include insulting, picking at a flaw, looking at other people, flirting with other people, or a general lack of respect in actions or words towards the other partner. Men and women alike, need to feel loved, accepted, appreciated, and valued by the one they love. If you or your partner is giving your attention to a third party, even if it's just a passerby, it can damage your relationship. Your attention should be on your partner, not another person, not ever - even when you are alone. If your focus is on your partner, you will find that you both will be happier with each other.

Lack of time for sex and related activities: Plan special dates - Lunch dates, dinner dates,
movie dates, shopping dates, going for specialty coffee, a walk in the park to talk, staying awake and talking in bed right before drifting off to sleep, or anything that allows for intimate conversation. You must make time for sex, but you must also make time to talk to your partner if you want the sex to be good.

Start foreplay long before your intimate time. Flirt with your partner throughout the day, give
compliments (truthful compliments), just keep in touch throughout the day letting your partner know you are thinking of them. Anything you can do that let's your partner feel valued, loved, desired, and wanted will count as foreplay.

Sex takes place in the brain first then the body responds. If there is anything that is an issue between you and your partner whether physically, emotionally, or mentally, it will stand in your way of a loving relationship with lovely intimate moments including great sex.

The key is COMMUNICATION! 

Talk, talk, talk, but be positive, be loving, be respectful, be helpful, be understanding, don't be selfish or self serving. Always think of your partner first and you will not regret it.

In past blogs under the "Sex After 50"category, I have dealt with various issues related to some of the items listed above. I suggest you go back and read those blogs, as well, if you are feeling unfulfilled sexually in your marriage or relationship.

I hope this helps anyone who is struggling with sex after the age of 50. If we don't address the issues that prevent good sexual health, they will get worse and you will miss out on all the health benefits that sex provides.

(NOTE: I am not a therapist, doctor, or an expert on sex, relationships, etc. I do research and I learn from discussions from others, and my own experiences.) 

What do you think is the biggest determent to good sex for adults over the age of 50? Do you have any issues that were not discussed in this blog? Do you have any ideas or suggestions that were not discussed in this blog or in my past Sex After 50 blogs? Please open a conversation so that we can learn from each other.

XOXO

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SPECIAL: Memorial Day for the Over 50 - Safe, Sound and Blessed

5/22/2020

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This Memorial Day Weekend will be different than Memorial Day's in the past. With social distancing, masks, and still some closures, it will be totally different in how we celebrate. With the emphasis on the vulnerability of people over 60 years old and children, we need to be more careful while still celebrating life.

While certain businesses and recreational activities (such as beaches and parks) have been allowed to open now with restrictions, we should not lower our standards of self protection. In fact, we should be more aware of it since we will probably be doing more outside of our homes.

Don't let the virus stop you from enjoying your Memorial Holiday, but be aware of the dangers. If you are going to be around your grandchildren, remember the dangers, but still enjoy those children with all your heart.

If there is one thing we should all take away from this "lock down" is how fragile our lives really are. At a moments notice we can lose contact with our families and friends, either through illness, national emergencies, death, and many other situations.

My bottom line message today for this Memorial Weekend? 

Appreciate every minute you have with your family and friends because you never know when that opportunity will be snatched away.

Have a blessed
Memorial Day Weekend! 
Get out and enjoy the fresh air, sunshine (or rain, lol), 
and the company of loved ones (within safe parameters).


XOXO
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Creativity: Look locally for artists that need your support AND Where you can learn a new skill – Win/Win!

5/15/2020

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Last week a friend and I drove two and a half hours to take an eight hour class in colored pencils. This was my fifth class with Teresa. Every class is different and I learn different skills. I am not an experienced artist and I knew nothing about what could be done with colored pencils. I was nervous about taking the first class. Especially when I saw the work of some of the other students.

I had wanted to take one of her classes since I first saw her at a Christmas show several years ago, but self doubt prevented me from signing up. I just didn't think I could do it well enough to be worth the time and money investment.

The artist, Teresa Pennington, is well known for her artwork of local landmarks and historical locations. She is named The Artist of the Blue Ridge. Her work is amazing.

You can take a virtual tour of her gallery and read her biography on her website here:    https://www.tpennington.com/index.php

 Here's the five projects I finished in the five classes I took:
I encourage you to seek a local artist that can teach you a new creative skill. Stretch your mind, stretch your creative juices, and stretch your abilities. Add to your skills and protect your brain health by learning something new.

If you don't have access to a local artist, then go online and search for teacher. You can find them on YouTube, on websites, and by word of mouth. It is easier now than ever to find a free teacher or a low cost class to learn something new.
​
Learn painting, drawing, writing, knitting, crochet, coloring, colored pencils, quilting, candle making, soap making, scrap booking, photography, even a different language, the options are endless. ​


“We don’t stop playing because we grow old.
We grow old because
we stop playing.”

George Bernard Shaw

Even if you don't think you are creative, you can learn to be. You might be surprised at what you can do if you just try, no matter how far out of your comfort zone you step.

Our brains are able to learn much more than we give it credit for, no matter what our age. It may take a little more time or a little more effort on our part, but we can do it. We can learn new skills after the age of 50. We can learn to be creative after the age of 50. We can increase our knowledge after the age of 50.



What creative skills do you possess? What new creative skill would you like to learn? Is there something you always wanted to do but didn't know how (like oil paint, quilt, write stories, etc.)? What are you doing or what are you going to do, to learn a new skill?


XOXO
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Health and Wellness: Hydration vs Dehydration - the liquid gold of life or a killer?

5/8/2020

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What is one of the most common ailments related to the over 50 adult? What is responsible for a variety of illnesses and ailments in most adults, but specifically if you are over the age of 50? What is the easiest cause of illness and ailments to remedy? The answer might surprise yo - it's water, dehydration.


Do you know what can happen to your body if you don't drink enough water? Most people don't connect dehydration with these symptoms, illnesses, or ailments. Most people turn to medications to treat the symptoms, never considering the "why".


Well, today I want you to consider the "why" if you experience any of the following symptoms:

Very dry skin
Feeling dizzy
Rapid heartbeat
Rapid breathing
Sunken eyes
Constipation
not peeing or very dark yellow pee
sleepiness
lack of energy
confusion or irritability
headache
dry mouth
inability to lose weight
fever over 101
low blood pressure upon standing
in extreme cases - seizures

(NOTE: Any of the above symptoms can indicate mild or severe dehydration. You need to decide if you think you can self hydrate or if you need medical help. Don't take chances by self treating, if you have severe symptoms. Seek medical help.)


How important is it for the over 50 person to stay hydrated?

Extremely!
Why is more dangerous for an older person to become dehydrated? Brain cells will sometimes try to store water to quickly and that can result in damage to cells and even the rupturing of brain cells. This is more likely to happen in someone over the age of 50. I have known several people over 50 who were hospitalized for being dehydrated when they thought they were just really tired.

What are the best drinks if you are deydrated? Here's some suggestions:

Water - this is the best way to stay hydrated
Electrolyte infused water
Gatorade
Coconut water
Pedialyte
Skim and low fat milk
fruits and vegetables
coffee and tea

If you are experiencing severe symptoms of dehydration, see your doctor. You may need IV fluids or special hydration fluids. Don't just reach for the pain reliever or sleep excessively. Try more water first.

The best thing is to not get dehydrated in the first place. Most health professionals agree that you should drink eight 8 ounce glasses of water each day. That would be 64 ounces through the whole day. This seems to be the minimum amount needed. Some medical professionals think we need a little more than 64 ounces.

Drinking water is the liquid gold of life.The bottom line is no matter what age you are, you should drink water, the recommended average is eight-eight ounce glasses per day, but especially important if you are over the age of 50. The benefits of staying hydrated are enormous.

DRINK UP!

How much water do you drink in a day? Do you increase your water consumption if you are active outdoors on a hot summer day? Have you ever been dehydrated? What symptoms did you experience?

XOXO
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Life: If a Friend disagrees with you, are they still your friend?

5/1/2020

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"My best friend is the one who brings out the best
in me."
Henry Ford

Everyone wants a friend that they can depend on to be there for them when no one else is. Someone who will let them be who they are without judgments. A friend who understands you and loves you anyway, even when they know all your faults.

What if that person doesn't always agree with your way of thinking or doesn't always back you up in a dispute or disagrees with some of your decisions and lets you know it, are they still a friend?

The answer to that question depends on what you want from a friend. Do you want someone who let's you know when you are messin' up? When you thinking wrongly? Or do you want someone who is always in your corner, whether you are right or wrong?

I have known some from both sides of that argument. Some people i know like to have a friend who will be honest with them no matter what, but still stands with them no matter if they are right or wrong. Some people I know will not be friends with anyone who disagrees with them or who doesn't see things the same way they do. Everyone has needs and everyone's needs are different. Or are they?

Deep down to the core of what a true friendship means is the same for everyone - trust. We all want that one friend that we can trust with the bad stuff as well as the good stuff about us. They may not always agree with us, but they always support our right to our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. They accept us for who we are with all our weaknesses and all our strengths.

If someone doesn't agree with you, it doesn't mean that they are not a good friend. Just as you most likely won't always agree with your friend all the time, that doesn't mean you are not a good friend to them.

Personally, I would rather have a friend who is honest with me, even if I don't always like what they have to say, but still supports me regardless if we see eye-to-eye, than someone who lets me make mistakes that they may have prevented or wants me to agree with everything they say. I want someone who accepts me, faults and all and I will do the same for them.

"A friend is someone who gives you
total freedom

to be
yourself."

Jim Morrison

Sometimes it takes getting older to realize what is valuable in a friendship. When we are young, most of us just wanted to be accepted. Some of us may have compromised our needs or beliefs in order to find that acceptance. When we were young, we may have had a spat with a friend that lead to more misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Now that we are older, hopefully we know how to handle those differences (spats) and not let them ruin a good friendship.

You decide:

1. Do you want a "friend" who always agrees with you even when you are wrong?


2. Do you want a "friend" who will stand with you against others, but then in private tell you where you messed up?


3. Do you want a "friend" who can be trusted with all your faults as well as all your strengths?


4. What kind of a "friend" are you?


"The most I can do for
my friend is simply be his friend."

Henry David Thoreau

No one lives forever and a good friend or two can make getting older a lot easier and happier. Don't let foolish little spats or differences in opinions ruin an otherwise good friendship. People with friends live longer and happier lives than those who are isolated or are always mad at someone.

"Friendship is unnecessary,
like philosophy, like art...

It has no survival value;
rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

C. S. Lewis

Do you find it easier or harder to make friends as you get older? Do you find that you are more accepting of their faults as you both age? Have you ever lost a good friend over a insignificant difference of opinion or a ridiculous spat? What kind of a friend are you?

XOXO
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    My mission​

    Sharing thoughts and ideas for the woman over 50 that are helpful, fun, creative, inspiring and interesting. Over 50s who want to remain relevant, happy and loving their life.
    On fire for your own life!
    ❤ Sheryl ❤

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