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Encouragement:"Food for Thought" for the end of December and 2017

12/29/2017

"Make it a December to Remember!"

December marks the end of the year. During this time of year we start seeing holiday sales, decorations, and attend events such as contatas, plays, light shows, and parades. Some of us celebrate Christmas and New Years, while others of us celebrate Boxing Day, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, or any number of other December holidays.

December can also be a month of stress. Stress during this month can come from many directions. It can come from gift buying, finances, changing weather, planning family gatherings, and attending gatherings. These are only a few. If you have lost a loved one, are an empty nester, recent retiree, or have any other life events to add to this, the stress can be overwhelming.

Also, as we get older it may be harder to be motivated to celebrate - anything. One year I didn't put up a single decoration for Christmas. This was highly unusual for me, but my kids were gone and it was just me and my husband. I had lost that spark that Christmas always brought to our home. For the first time, our children whom we planned the holidays for - were gone, on their own, planning for their own children. My parents were also gone and thus, no place to go for the holidays.

"I am the Master of my Fate;
I am the Captain of my Soul."
- Invictus by William E. Henley -

Since that undecorated Christmas holiday, I have turned completely around. Christmas is not just about my children anymore. It is about me and God, and so many other things. It is about the spirit of giving and the belief in new beginnings.

December is a month to review what we have accomplished during the last year, reassess our goals, take inventory of our needs that were met and ones that need to be met, and evalutaing our progress. It's a month of ends. A month to celebrate not only common holidays, but small personal events. Hopefully, but the end of the year, we have grown...mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and lovingly.

This is my challenge to you: Pick out three things from 2017 that you have done that you are proud of, happy about, or a goal you have met. Celebrate it. Celebrate it aside from the common holidays that we celebrate this month. Congratulate yourself, treat yourself, pat yourself on the back. These three things are things you should be proud of...you have grown - you have not stood still - you are not stagnate.

Enjoy every opportunity to be with friends and family. If you find yourself alone, don't wallow in self pity, isolation, or loneliness. Get out and find ways to enjoy the festivities of the month. Find opportunities to appreciate the beauty of this month.

Celebrate your past year no matter how small your accomplishments may seem or what you may have faced. Find the silver lining that is in every cloud. Focus on that, not the negatives.

Make this December one to Remember!

What are you going to do to make this a December to remember? What are you proud of that you accomplished in 2017? If you don't have family or friends nearby to celebrate with, what do you plan to do? Please share!

XOXO

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special: Merry Christmas! Pause, reflect, and evaluate before the new year!

12/22/2017

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It's the week of Christmas. If you celebrate Christmas then Merry Christmas!!! If not, then Merry “whatever” you celebrate! It's a beautiful time of the year!

Enjoy your family and friends. Refuse to let age or illness dampen your holidays. It is the end of the year and a time to celebrate the birth of Christ, but also to examine the past year and plan for the coming year. A time to decide, am I going to continue to exist or will I make the decision to live? Will I be satisfied just doing the same things everyday or will I seek out new experiences? Will I go out of this life “on fire” or just drift away from boredom?

"Christmas gives us the opportunity
to pause and reflect
on the important things around us a time when we can look back on the year that has passed and prepare for the year ahead."

- David Cameron, 51, Former British Prime Minister -

December is a time to be thankful for all our blessings. It is a time to reflect on our lives and to make the changes we need to make to enrich our lives. Set new goals. Wake up! You have a lot of life left, don't waste it.

I wasted one Christmas that I can never get back because I let sadness overtake my joy. I didn't decorate, I didn't go to any parties, I barely even knew that Christmas had arrived. It was just another day. I regret that.

No more, I count every holiday and every day I am alive as a blessing. As another opportunity to do something good not only for myself, but for someone else.

This is my challenge to you, if you are finding it hard to get into the Christmas spirit. Volunteer some where. Help out with Toys for Tots or a local food bank or a local soup kitchen. Volunteer at a school to work with children who need to have someone to read to. Find someone to help. Find a cause – make a difference in someone else's life. The way that Christ made a difference is the world.

Merry Christmas! And Happy 2018!

Stay tuned for 2018 to On Fire and Over 50....it's going to be a great year!

"Christmas is not a time
nor a season,
but a state of mind.
To cherish peace and goodwill,
to be plenteous in mercy,
is to have the
real spirit of Christmas."

Calvin Coolidge
30th President of the United States

What charity, community service, or cause can you get involved with? What can you do to help someone's life be better? There are a lot of hurting people in this world, be part of the change. It will take your mind off your own troubles and you will feel great!
Merry Christmas!
God bless you!

XOXO

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Life: 10 Ways to Help Someone Who Has Lost a Child or Loved one (Re-posted)

12/15/2017

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Last December I wrote about ways to survive the holidays when you have lost a child or loved one and about how to help someone who has lost a child or loved one.
I spoke to people who have actually experienced these losses, spoke to a couple of professionals, and did some research. A lot of what I found out is common sense. However, when a tragedy occurs such as this type of loss, common sense does not always prevail. We are human and our emotions sometimes get in the way of common sense.

First of all and probably the most important thing to remember is this:

"The biggest help for those of us who want to help another is to remember this is an individualized process."

- Kambi Swan, Licensed Professional Counselor, specializing in Trauma -

Remember that every person grieves differently. There is not a one size fits all for helping someone. Losing a child is different than losing a spouse, parent, etc. Also, the life experiences of the survivor affects the way they grieve. If they have experienced prior losses they may recover quicker than someone who has never experienced a loss. If the survivor is experiencing other issues in their life during the time of the loss, they may not do as well as someone who is well grounded and their life is stable.

Losing a child is one of the hardest losses because it challenges the natural order of life. We don't expect to out live our children. Losing a spouse depends a lot on the health of the relationship at the time of death. Someone who has been madly in love with their spouse for 30 or more years will have a harder time recovering than someone whose marriage was on shaky ground or where there was unhappiness. Both still grieve, but it is different for each and recovery time varies.

Christmas is one of the hardest holidays if you have lost a child. I have chosen to
re-post this from last December's blog to help anyone who may be going through this.

Some things to remember when trying to help a person with this type of loss:

1. The first year is called "The Year of Firsts". This is a readjustment period. First holiday without their child or loved one, first birthday, first anniversary, etc.

2. Take all preconceived notions of grief off the table, everyone grieves differently.

3. Remember, they haven't lost a person, they've lost a relationship. Relationships are what makes each person different. My niece passed this year. My relationship with her was as her aunt, my sister's relationship was as her mother. Same person, big difference.

4. Please, please, please remember to avoid trite statements (but not limited to the following):
- They are better off now
- God needed another angel
- You can have other children
- God called them home

5. The survivor is trying to find meaning in the death of their loved one. Each person has to find their own meaning and it may not make sense to you. It doesn't have to, just accept it for them and go on even if you don't agree with it.

6. The survivor is trying to come to terms with the why of their loved ones death. They must do this on their own. You may have ideas and you can share them as long as they are not judgemental or cast blame on someone. The survivor knows things they are not telling you, you may not have all the story. You don't need to know everything, this is not your journey, it is theirs and they must travel it in their own way.

7. Call or visit them and just be a listening ear for most of this time, but do not avoid the subject either. Let the survivor bring up the subject and then participate, don't avoid. Remember the lost loved one with fondness always keeping it on a positive note.

8. The survivor is also searching for relief of responsibility. They will ask themselves:
- Could I have prevented this?
- Did I pay enough attention?
- Did I miss something that could have made a difference?
The survivor will relive many past moments looking for clues. They are looking for peace with what's happened. They are looking for closure. Let them, do not discourage them.

9. Do not recommend medication. Not everyone needs medication and most should not have it. A lot depends on what was going on in their life when the death occurred. Leave this to the professionals. It is always better to deal with and recover from a trauma such as this without medication.

10. Be supportive. Do not give advice, there is no way you could understand what they ar going through. Even if you have experienced a similar situation, rememeber "it's an individualized process".

Here are some good resources:

Support Groups:

Griefshare - a national support group that will put you contact with other people who have expereinced the same type of loss; https://www.griefshare.org/

Rainbow Kids - a support group that targets children who have lost parents or other significant family/friends; http://www.rainbowkidswi.org/

Bereavement Support Group Online; https://www.dailystrength.org/group/
bereavement

Books:

"Life, Death, and Beyond" by Mack Lyon; https://www.amazon.com/Life-Death-Beyond-Mack-Lyon/dp/0929540174/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1481834302&sr=1-1&keywords=mack+Lyon

"Jesus Wept : Trusting the Good Shepherd When You Lose a Loved One" by Leroy Brownlow: https://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Wept-Trusting-Shepherd-Loved/dp/0915720124/ref=sr_1_37?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1481834977&sr=1-37&keywords=leroy+brownlow+books

"Farther Along - The Writing Journey of Thirteen Bereaved Mothers" - by 13 mothers (Amazon lists author as Carol Henderson); https://fartheralongbook.com/about/

"Healing After Loss" by Martha Whitmore Hickman; https://www.amazon.com/Healing-After-Loss-Meditations-Working/dp/0380773384

"Widow to Widow" by Gineveve Ginsburg; https://www.amazon.com/Widow-Thoughtful-Practical-Ideas-Rebuilding/dp/0738209961

"Don't Ever Give Up!" by Bob Spurlin; https://www.amazon.com/Dont-ever-give-Bob-Spurlin/dp/B0006S9YVC

Additional help is available: I want to add a number 11 to this list. Number 11 is to pray everyday for your friend or family member who has lost a loved one.

"Pray often for God's help, comfort, and guidance."

- Bob Spurlin, author ("Don't Ever Give Up!")
Psalms 55:17; James 5:13; Psalms 55:22: 1 Peter 5:7

One scripture that always gives me comfort is found in Revelation21:4:

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain."

So, we can see that there are lots of things we can do to help our loved ones deal with the death of one of their children or a loved one. It requires us to step up and take it upon ourselves as it will not come to us. If we love our friend or family member and are truly sincere about wanting to the help them, then follow the guidelines in this week's blog and you should become an important part of their support system.

Do you know someone experiencing this loss? Are you trying to be a member of their support team? Do you have first hand experience in this area? Are you willing to share your thoughts with the rest of us (the readers).

XOXO

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Product Review: Arctic Zero - Frozen Dessert

12/8/2017

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Ice cream is the one thing I can't do without. I love it. But really good ice cream is full of fat and sugar. As a result, I don't buy it very often.

Can you imagine how happy I was to find a frozen dessert so low in sugar that I could eat the whole pint for 150 calories? It is also very creamy and yummy. I love the Salted Carmel and the Vanilla Maple the best.

Here are the good points of Arctic Zero (including the great taste):

Low Glycemic
RBST Free Whey Protein
Certified Gluton Free
Lactose Free
Certified GMO Free
Kosher
Tons of Flavors: They offer many many flavors, but the ones that are 150 calories per pint are: Cake Batter; Poppin' Pomegranate; Purely Chocolate; Vanilla Maple; Hint of Mint; Cappuccino; Chocolate Peanut Butter; Salted Caramel; Toasted Coconut; and Cookie Shake.

What is it made of? Good stuff. All good stuff.🙂

Ingredients:

Whey Protein: Non-GMO, Hormone Free and ultra filtered to remove the lactose
Sea Salt: Just a touch of Pacific Ocean salt
Monk Fruit Concentrate Sweetner: A small melon from subtropical hillsides of Asia, low glycemic and about 150 times sweeter than sugar.
Fiber: Non-GMO fiber ingredients are Chicory Root (probiotic and blood sugar stablizing properties) from a Mediterranean plant and Sugarcane fiber that is insoluble and aids in digestion.
Organic Cane Sugar: Non-GMO organic Florida organic cane sugar
Stabilizers: Natural, plant based that includes a blend of xanthan and guar gum to keep it smooth and creamy
Natural Flavors: Plant based flavors with no monosodium glutamate (MSG) or hydrolyzed vegetable protein (HVP)
Purified Water: Triple filtered and purified

The ONLY negative I found with this product is cost. At grocery stores, health food stores, Walmart, etc., it is just under $5.00 per pint.
You can order direct from the company here: www.arcticzero.com/e-products but you will pay more. It must be shipped in dry ice which adds to the cost.
Do I let the cost stop me from buying? No. If I absolutely do not have the extra money available for a $5.00 pint then I will pass, but if at all possible, I go for it. I love it that much and it satisfies my ice cream cravings without ruining my diet or health.

If you are an ice cream addict like I am (just joking) you need to try Arctic Zero. Note: Just because you can eat the whole pint for 150 calories doesn't mean you have to. You can always eat some today and some tomorrow....although it will be hard (at least it was for me 🙂).

Do you love ice cream? Are you trying to restrict the amount of calories you take in every day and find it difficult to satisfy your sweet tooth? Have you tried this product before? If so, what do you think of it? Do you have any other treats that you can share with the rest of us?

XOXO

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Life: Opinions matter, except yours!

12/1/2017

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A few days ago I was commenting on a post that showed up on my Facebook news feed. It was a post from one of the pages I follow. There were already over 280 comments on the posts and it was split 50/50 positive/negative. The post didn't really matter that much to me, but I did make a comment. I expressed my opinion, only my opinion, and suddenly this one woman decides to make my comment the subject of her personal attack on the other negative comments.

I am very respectful when I comment on a post keeping in mind that everyone has an opinion and not all of them will agree with mine. That's ok, discussion is good and my belief is that not everyone has to think the same as I do.

This particular woman was upset that I believed what I did and that I wouldn't change my opinion. She asked me why I believed what I believed so I gave her facts. The facts were backed up by historical documentation. She became so upset that after she made a particularly rude comment, the owner of the site deleted the whole conversation. I still to this day don't know why she chose my comment to attack. It wasn't even a particularly important post.

What's the point of all this? Well, we hear that everyone is important, everyone has a right to voice their opinions, equality for everyone, right? Then why don't we practice what we speak? As hard as some opinions are to hear, we shouldn't attack anyone because they think differently than we do. Through discussions sometimes an opinion will change, however, most of the time they really don't change. When we attack someone for giving their opinion, we cause them to shut down and the discussion stops. Communication dies.

When I was growing up, we were taught to respect our elders. As a child I knew that the older adults in my life were wiser than I. Did I always agree with them? No, but I took their opinions in and then formed my own. Sometimes the result resembled theirs, sometimes completely different. I never attacked anyone for their opinion.

The following quote is quite true and the older I get, the more I appreciate it:

" Too often we enjoy the comfort of our opinion
without the discomfort of thought."
- John F. Kennedy -

The Bible teaches how to deal with people who don't agree with our beliefs, opinions or choices. The Bible says we should be:

"wise as serpents and harmless as doves".
- Matthew 10:16 -

In other words, don't push your opinions or beliefs on someone, approach everyone with the same respect you would want from them.

Realize that not everyone will agree with you and that's ok. Unless they can provide proof, stick to your opinion or belief. Maybe through the discussion you will be able to show them a new way to look at something.

You will never win the opinion game with attacks. You will never win any argument with attacks. People are changed through knowledge, education, and facts, but only if they are open to discussion.

In closing, I believe that if the owner of the site mentioned earlier had not deleted our discussion, I could have turned it around and perhaps gained the respect of the woman who attacked my comment. I probably would have never changed her mind, but it wouldn't have ended as it did - in attack mode
.
How do you handle it, when someone shares their opinion with you and it's different than yours? Have you ever been attacked because of your opinion or belief? How did you handle it?

XOXO

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Encouragement:"Food for Thought" for the end of December and 2017

special: Merry Christmas! Pause, reflect, and evaluate before the new year!

Life: 10 Ways to Help Someone Who Has Lost a Child or Loved one (Re-posted)

Product Review: Arctic Zero - Frozen Dessert

Life: Opinions matter, except yours!

My mission

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Encouragement:"Food for Thought" for the end of December and 2017

special: Merry Christmas! Pause, reflect, and evaluate before the new year!

Life: 10 Ways to Help Someone Who Has Lost a Child or Loved one (Re-posted)

Product Review: Arctic Zero - Frozen Dessert

Life: Opinions matter, except yours!

My mission​

Archives

Categories

About

Blog

Contact

My mission