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Encouragement: New beginnings and our future - The over 50 woman (and man)

4/26/2019

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With the passing of Good Friday and Easter Sunday, Christians around the world have celebrated and remembered the cruel death, the burial, and the glorious resurrection of Jesus the Christ. With that celebration comes the confirmation that life does indeed end, but it also "can be" a new beginning. Christ broke the bonds of death for all who believe and want the same.


As women (and men) over 50 we have an opportunity for a new beginning every day that we wake up independent and free. Our health may be declining, but even with the medications we may be taking or treatments we must endure, or those of us who are in good health, we all have the same opportunity to begin a new each and every day. It may require more effort for some than others, but it worth it to live a full life and do the things we want to do.


Retirement is time for new beginnings. When we retire, many of us have dreams that we put off until we retire. Many dream of traveling. We may dream of traveling with our spouse or partner. However, that dream may face some adjustments if our spouse or partner is not able to travel due to illness or death. The adjustments we should consider making is to keep that dream alive and travel as we are able. Even if we travel alone or with a travel group or with another family member or friend, we should not give up the dream of travel.


Other dreams may include learning another language, finishing a degree, moving closer to grandchildren, writing a novel, taking cooking lessons, join a club (hiking, cooking, gaming, traveling, book, etc.) Never give up on your dreams, just be prepared to make adjustments as needed. You may have to do things a different way than you planned, but you can still do it.


If Jesus the Christ, allowed himself to be tortured, put to death, and buried, only to rise again from the grave in order to provide us the opportunity of eternal life, then our life must be important. If it is important then we should not waste it. Every day that we wake up is a new day full of opportunities to do wonderful things and to fulfill our dreams.


There are many stories of people who start new adventures in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond.

Need examples? Here you go!

  • Marjorie Newlin: Started working out at the gym for the first time at age 72 and is now a body builder at age 86
  • Gale McMahon started bodybuilding at age 65 years old,
  • Ernestine Shepherd began at 56 years old and is still going strong at age 81 (wins competitions, also),
  • Iris Davis is a bodybuilder at age 75 years old.
  • Ruth: 72 year old who is a lifer solo travelor in a van.
  • Mandy Cabot, age 64; Jessica Rosenblum, age 52; Debera Johnson, age 63; Robin Lail, age 78; all started businesses after age 50, 60, 70...


These are only a few examples of people who have reinvented themselves, fulfilled their dreams, and never let age get them down. They pushed through no matter how hard or what kind of obstacles they faced and they won!


YOU can WIN! If you just don't give up and you pursue your dreams. Even when our health slows us down, as long as we are alive and breathing, we can accomplish great things. YOU can accomplish great things!


Do you know someone who started their life over after the age of 50? Did you? Do you know someone who started a new goal or fulfilled a dream after the age of 50? Did you? Please share any stories you may have.


XOXO
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Life: The BIGGEST myth that over 50 women believe (in my opinion) – Loss of Beauty

4/19/2019

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Age takes away many things. We often lose our friends and family for a variety of reasons; we often lose our good health; and we almost always lose our youthful beauty (there are a few exceptions to this, very few, like Christie Brinkley...I love her and hate her at the same time).

We also lose some of our confidence that comes with good health and youthful beauty. While most of these are true, there are some hard myths out there, as well. Myths that can hurt us if we take them as fact.

The biggest myth of all that most women over 50 believe is the one about once you lose your youthful beauty you have lost your most valuable asset as a woman. NOT TRUE! Let me repeat that - IT IS NOT TRUE THAT ONCE YOU LOSE YOUR YOUTHFUL BEAUTY YOU ARE DONE.

When we look in the mirror on that first day of realization and see a stranger looking back, it throws us for a loop. We may have looked this way for months or even years, but on this particular day, we actually see ourselves...we face the realization that while we are still beautiful we have lost our “youthful” beauty. Are we done? Is that our value - our “youthful” beauty?

When you are young, you think the world is at your feet. Men notice you, admire you, and sometimes, pursue you. We go in for a job interview and feel confident because we know we look good. We shop and find that just about everything looks good on our youthful body. As we grow older, things start to change. The change is gradual in most cases and sometimes we don't even notice the changes until that one day that we do. That's the day when we feel old and our confidence takes a whipping. That day when we look in the mirror and ask ourselves "who is that woman?".

That's when it begins, the downward fall into invisibility...or maybe not. Are we only what we look like? If a man is only nice to young beautiful women, is he really worth our time? If the man hiring for a new marketing analyst is only looking at youthful candidates, is that where we really want to work?

We are not invisible just because a few self absorbed people don't seem to see us. The important thing is, we see us. We know who we are and we know what we are capable of. We are smart women with experience and advanced knowledge. Some people may forget this, but we shouldn't.

I did an experiment a few weeks ago and I found something out about people (men and women). On one shopping trip, I tried not to smile much and I walked looking down and I avoided much eye contact with anyone...forget talking to anyone. As a result, clerks were rude and one even ignored me over another customer. I was invisible.

Then I went the other direction. I went shopping and smiled at people, said "hi" to strangers, held my head high, presented myself as confident and friendly. Clerks were asking to help me, taking time to show me specific items they thought I might like, and being very polite. I also noticed that men and women spoke back to me and I wasn't invisible to them.

Does this mean that my attitude about myself changes my outward beauty? YES!

My mother told me when I was growing up, "smile it increases your face value." She was right. If you smile, you look better, you feel better, and people see you.

If I am going to have lines on my face, I would rather they be smile lines than frown lines. If you smile and present a confident, happy image and someone still rejects you or ignores you, it is not you...it is them. They have issues. It may be they are having a bad day, maybe they have poor self image themselves, they are envious that you are so happy, or any number of other reasons could be at work.

We should be proud to be who we are and make the most of every asset we have. If you have beautiful hair, then show it off; if you have beautiful eyes, then show them off; if you have a beautiful smile, then smile (I would say smile, regardless, because every smile is beautiful); whatever you feel is your strongest asset (your friendliness, intelligence, compassion, etc.,) show it. We all have flaws, but we all have assets, things that are beautiful.

This myth that we buy into that beauty is tied to our youth is dangerous. It causes many of us to waste precious years feeling less than beautiful, less of a woman, and invisible. When we hear a story of a man who leaves his older wife for a younger woman, it adds to our discontent with growing older. When we lose a promotion on our job to a younger woman, we feel undervalued. When we are out with our loved one (husband, boyfriend, etc.,) and he is admiring every younger woman you happen to cross paths with, it hurts.

Why? Why do these cause us to doubt ourselves? Why don't we put the doubt where it really belongs? It belongs squarely on the husband or boyfriend who does this to you. They are showing who they are, not who we are.

We have also heard these statements: (1) she is aging like a fine wine...beautifully, (2)older women know who they are, (3) Young women don't understand me, (4) real beauty is more than skin deep, and (5) beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Are these just as true? Yes.

For every negative statement about older women there is a positive statement about older women, as well. However, two problems exist (1) do we hear them? and (2) do we believe them?

For some reason we are more apt to believe the negative statements or actions and ignore the positive ones. Why is it easier to believe a negative? Why are we quick to accept our faults and slow to see our beauty? Are we trained this way from birth or are we born that way? I personally think this is a matter of conditioning. How so, you may ask?

Everywhere we look in publishing, advertising, news wires, etc., we are faced with young women. The advertisers of wines, cars, vacations venues, and such, use young women to attract the men. They also use them to draw the attention of the older woman in an effort to make the older woman think that if she drives that car, drinks that wine, or takes a vacation at that beach, then she will be perceived as young and youthful. It's all a facade, a trick they play to get us to buy stuff, read stuff, or believe the all of the news we hear the young women report on.

No, we won't be younger if we buy those cars, read those books, or believe everything we hear in the news that is presented by a young beautiful woman. All this does to an older woman is make her feel inadequate, invisible, and old. It wears on our confidence. It undermines our self esteem.

Then we look at the men. Who are they looking at? If a young woman and an older woman are walking side by side, which one will attract the eye of a man? The younger woman? Don't believe it, the older woman can draw attention from a man if she presents herself as confident and happy. Remember my experiment? Smiling got me a lot more attention than walking with my head down.

The point of this week's blog is this:

You can be as beautiful as ever at any age if you choose to be.
A smile on any woman and her self-confidence is attractive.

You smile at someone and they will almost always smile back.

There are exceptions to everything, sometimes a person won't smile back. This doesn't mean you are not beautiful or attractive. It means that person may have something else on their mind and they are not aware of their surroundings. This has happened to me and I know you have experienced it as well.

Do you feel invisible? Do you feel attractive? Do you dress like a beautiful woman or like a woman who doesn't feel attractive? Have you noticed that people treat you different based on the way you present yourself? (sad face, smiling face, dressed in attractive clothes, have an unkempt appearance, etc.) What are your thoughts on the attractiveness of an older woman.

XOXO
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Book Review: "All Things New" - 30 Days on Identity and Issues by Josh Stone and Gene Shumaker

4/12/2019

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​Another new author, Josh Stone, that I met in my new bathroom along with my plumber, co- wrote a book with another new author Gene Shumaker. This book is about finding out who you are internally and working on the issues that hold you back from your full potential.

Josh and Gene write from a Biblical perspective. Most of what they write is common sense, but some of it stands to be reminders of where we come from. We were all with God before we were born. We were all born the same way and we die. We all return to God and our fate for eternity is decided by him.

All Things New is a well written book for anyone who is wondering about who they are from a spiritual standpoint. There may be points in the book that you disagree with but the overall view of the book is to live what you believe and you will know who you are.

The authors stress the importance of dealing with past issues or mistakes. Don't run from your past, deal with it – all of it – the hurt, the shame, the anger, whatever may be, deal with it then move on.

Don't drown and waste your life in self-pity or think that you are unforgivable. God forgives and we must learn to forgive ourselves. Fear, insecurity, and those doubts we have only serve to keep us from joy.

To have true freedom from our past or our mistakes and failures, we must face them head on. This book is good for doing that. Each day is opened with a scripture. This is a good way to begin any day.

“For freedom Christ has
set us free;

stand firm therefore, and
do not submit again to
a yoke of slavery.”

Galatians 5:1 (ESV)

You can purchase this book here:
https://amzn.to/2U4Ec6k

Do you need a restart button for your life? Do you find that you can not let go of the past? This book may be able to help you. Don't let your past dictate or ruin your future.


​XOXO
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Encouragement: April Showers Bring May Flowers - There's good in every rainy day!

4/5/2019

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 “You cannot always control what goes on outside.
But you can always control what goes on inside.”
- Dr. Wayne Dyer -


Every day that we wake up is a good day. Everyday that we are able to see the rain fall and know that God exists is a great day. Sometimes it's hard to see that silver lining in that gray cloud of rain - but it's still there.
April is the month when we really know spring is coming. Even in the coldest of climates, spring arrives in it's own way.


That's the way of human aging, also. We have our spring and for each one of us, it comes (and goes) in it's own way. When our spring (childhood) is gone, our summer (teen years) arrives, then fall (adulthood), then our winter (older - closer to the end of our seasons). In human aging, each season lasts for various lengths of time for various people. Winter comes to some in their 30's and 40's, for others winter comes in their 80's, 90's and beyond. Unlike the calendar seasons. We only experience each human season once. No repeats. No do overs.


For this reason, it is important to live each season with intention. The late Dr. Wayne Dyer wrote a book named The Power of Intention. Each day that we wake up, is a day to live with intention. If we live each day allowing the events of life or the actions of others determine our life, we will never know true joy, true peace, or longevity.


“With everything that has happened to you,
you can either feel sorry for yourself
or treat what has happened as a gift.
Everything is either an opportunity to grow
or an obstacle to keep you from growing.
You get to choose.”
- Dr. Wayne Dyer -


Choosing is intention. It is choosing (or intending) to be healthy, happy, positive, active, pursue your dreams, your goals in life...choosing is living a life with intention.


So wake up each day of your winter, with intention in your heart. A purpose, a goal, a dream, a desire, a plan, that is intention. Work to achieve that intention or those intentions.


Do you live a life of intention or chance? Do you feel you are in the winter of your life? How do you know? Are you continuing to grow? Continuing to learn? Living with intention?


XOXO
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    My mission​

    Sharing thoughts and ideas for the woman over 50 that are helpful, fun, creative, inspiring and interesting. Over 50s who want to remain relevant, happy and loving their life.
    On fire for your own life!
    ❤ Sheryl ❤

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