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Creativity: Now is the time to learn something new - Links to Creative Sites for the Over 50 Adult

4/24/2020

If you read my blog regularly you know that I believe in staying active physically and mentally. Now with the "order to stay home", this is the perfect time to learn something new and expand your brain cell connectivity for a healthier brain as we age.

It doesn't matter if you have never painted, written anything other than letters and grocery lists, sewn anything, or only speak English, you can learn something new.

Even if you start to learn something new and you find it difficult, don't give up. Stick to it. Everything is hard in the beginning, but as you progress everything gets easier.

The difficult thing for me is choosing what to learn. I have so many things that I want to learn, I have trouble choosing just one to focus on. I hope this is your problem, too.

Here are a few ways art and creativity help our mind and our souls:

A Harvard Women's Health Watch article, dated July 2017, states that anyone can benefit from creating art to control anger, stress, mental decline, depression, and other mental issues. You can read their fascinating article here: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mental-health/the-healing-power-of-art

Art from the Streets posted an article, dated August 2017, that provides five ways art benefits mental health. The five benefits they highlight are: art relieves stress, encourages creative thinking, it boosts self esteem and a sense of accomplishment, it encourages brain activity, and it makes for a better quality of life in dementia patients. You can read their short but informative article here: https://artfromthestreets.org/blogs/news/five-great-mental-health-benefits-of-art

Medical News Today has an excellent article about how creative expression, whether it be painting, writing, dancing, playing music, or any creative activity, increases our immunity to diseases and illnesses. It has the potential to speed recovery and encourages healthy healing. The article can be found here, it's worth the read: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320947#Brain-boosting-effects

Now that we know the multitude of health benefits from creating, viewing, or participating in art, where do we begin?
Actually, you can begin right where you are at this very moment.

You can start by any of the following ways and in any other way you can think of:

Start a journal by writing your thoughts down.
Listen to various types of music, include music you rarely listen to or have never listened to. Expand your taste in music.
Start coloring in a coloring book. A child's coloring book or an adult coloring book, whatever you have available.
Put on music and dance...all by yourself.

Here is a brief list of links to sites, videos, podcasts, and vendors that offer a variety of courses or projects that can help you meet any goal you have for yourself. This is a short list, there are many, many more online if you just take time to search for them.

Check these out:

https://www.tipsyartist.com/tipsy-artist-kits The Tipsy Artist - My FAVORITE painting class. I have taken her courses many times and I love them. Anyone can do them and they are inexpensive.

https://thequiltshow.com/
The Quilt Show - A good place to take online classes to earn to quilt. Some are free, some are not. They have a lot of free things to do, like online quilt related jigsaw puzzles and quilt block matching games. You can browse the gallery and see award winning quilts. This site is full of stuff.

https://www.classcentral.com/course/winning-resumes -5477
Class Central - Offers a variety of free courses from resume writing to creative writing. If you want to learn to write better, check this site out for free courses. This link is to their free resume writing course, as an example.

http://audiria.com/index.ph p
Audiria - An excellent podcast and website to learn Spanish. I have used Learn Spanish Con Salsa podcast. This is a podcast only format and is also a good way to learn Spanish while walking. If you go to the APPSTORE (for iphones, ipads, macs, etc.) or to GOOGLE PLAY (Android devices), and search by name or subject matter, you will find these two podcasts and a lot of other ones for every language under the sun.

https://www.skillshare.com/browse/art
Skillshare – this site has tons of online classes that are free for 2 months. If after two months you want more, you can enroll in their Premium service for $15.00 per month, if you want to go month to month, or you can pay $99 per year (which is $8.25 per month). Go to their website at the link above and see what they offer.

https://www.coursera.org/learn/biohacking-your-brains-health?action=enroll
Biohacking Your Brain's Health – Coursera offers courses for free and also for a fee. You will need to enroll, but enrollment is free. Check out this course and also the other ones they offer.

These are a few of online resources for creative courses, classes, projects. Art kits, etc. Local stores such as Michael's and JoAnn's offer various craft and art kits that you can order online. Amazon is full of kits that you can order and do at home.

You can also check out art project books, craft books, sewing books, how-to art books, at your local library. These can be hard cover, paperback, or audio.

Regardless, if you're in a lockdown situation or life is back to normal, it is healthy for your mind and soul to do creative projects and create art.

Do you have a creative side? Do you spend time in doing creative projects? What benefits have you realized from the creative activities you participate in? Is your life better? Do you feel you are healthier?

XOXO

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Book Review: If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? - by Avery Neal

4/17/2020

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This is an excellent book that I recommend every woman read. Yes, every woman. The author clearly lays out the patterns of emotional abusers.

NOTE: This blog is written about a male abuser and a female victim. However, men could benefit from this book also. It could help a man identify himself as abuser, when he may not know he is. It can also help a man identify his abuser because the same tactics can be used by women to abuse men.)

Abuse comes in all forms not just physical. Sometimes emotional abuse is harder to overcome. Emotional abuse is harder to see than the physical bruises or scars. Often the one being abused doesn't even know they are being abused, they just know they are not happy and don't know why.

Emotional abuse can occur in all relationships:

Daughter/Mom or Dad;
Son/Mom or Dad;
Husband/Wife; Boyfriend/Girlfriend;
between two friends;
and any other relationship.

In this book Avery Neal directs it towards the Male/Female relationship (married or boyfriend/girlfriend).

An emotional abuser is someone who uses certain tactics, practices, concepts, etc., to gain control over another person emotionally.

They can be well liked by everyone , friends, co-workers, members of their church, neighbors, other family members, but with the one they live and sleep with is a different story. They can make that person feel horrible, but also bonded to them in such a way that the person will do anything to make them happy.

How does an abuser gain control over their victim?

A concept called Traumatic Bonding.
This is a when the abuser uses kindness and abusiveness intermingled. One minute he is kind and compassionate, the next he is verbally abusing you. You don't give up because he is, after all, a sweet person – sometimes. This is how he controls you and keeps you.

What are some other clues or results of Emotional Abuse?

Tip Toeing is a self-preservation technique that many women can identify with.

At one time you felt comfortable speaking up and saying what was on your mind. At some point, it changes and you realize if you say a certain thing, he will punish you somehow (verbally). You learn what to say, when to say it, how to say it and what not to say. In the end, you may shut down completely.

Another technique an abusive man may use to make you dependent on him is Gaslighting:

Gaslighting is a term taken from the 1944 movie “Gaslight” with Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman.

In the movie Charles Boyer (the husband) does things to cause Ingrid Bergman (the wife) doubt her sanity and rely more on him.

This is a form of psychological abuse. It is making subtle and increasing changes in a relationship to make you feel that you are going crazy. It weakens your self confidence. You become depressed.

The abuser's repentance:
He says he is sorry, but he doesn't change the behavior. He is only saying he is sorry to temporarily appease you. He will not change his behavior because in the end, it works for him in controlling you.

After a few times of apologies and then repeating the behavior, you will probably give up and accept that he will never change. At that moment, he has won the battle.

You may learn to deal with the abuser by "cozying" up to them. You agree with them when you really don't agree, you cave in to avoid conflict.

When your self esteem is low, after repeated psychological abuse, you begin to wonder if their statements are true. The crazier the abuser can make you feel, the more power he has over you.

Here is a list of “possible” reactions of the abuser to control you:

When you don't say, do, or react the way they want you to, they lash out at you (sometimes in the form of yelling or insulting).

The abuser gives you the silent treatment. They ignore you. For a period of time, you don't exist.

This is different that when they withdraw emotionally, which can seem like the same thing.

However, withdrawing emotionally means they can be really nice, treat you good, but withhold affection (either verbal or physical). You lose that emotional connection even though he is treating you “good” (on the surface). You keep thinking he will come around and eventually, he does...but at his own convenience when he thinks he has strengthened his control over you.

He may say things that “belittle” you. It may be something about your appearance, the way you talk, your religious beliefs, your political beliefs, anything that is personal to you, he can use to belittle you.
This tears away at your self confidence and BINGO! He has gained more power over you. This is especially true if you genuinely believe these “belittles” are true.

The abuser may play the victim. In this action, he will say or do something to hurt you and then make you feel bad for him.

For example, he says you are not what he really wanted but you are the best he can do, because he isn't handsome enough. He doesn't believe this, he is only saying it to draw you in to him through sympathy. This one works best with a sensitive woman.

The last tactic I want to highlight is the one where the abuser turns the table on you. In other words, he does something hurtful to you BECAUSE of something you did to him. In his view, you caused it and he was only taking up for himself, which isn't the truth.

As you can see, identifying an abuser from someone who is just rebelling can be tricky. If the person does all of the above (and maybe some things that are not mentioned, but are equally controlling), you can probably safely say they are an abuser.

However, if a person only does one of the above or maybe two, it could be they are just immature emotionally and don't know how to deal with certain issues.

If you determine the person is actually an abuser and you are in an abusive relationship, you have three choices:
1. Stay in the relationship the way it is and remain abused;
2) Seek professional help such as therapy;
3) Leave the relationship.

If you have the opportunity to read this book,
I recommend you read it.
No matter what the situation,
the knowledge can help you now and in the future.
If you know someone who can use this information,
refer this book to them.
I got my copy from the library on audio. It was free! Use your library.
If you can't find it at your library, you can purchase it here:
https://amzn.to/2UBJ3hU

Did you identify with any of the above behaviors? Have you come out of an emotionally controlling relationship? If so, how did you break the bond? Do you know someone who is or has been in an emotionally abusive relationship? Please share your thoughts and stories to help others.

XOXO

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SPECIAL: What does an egg, a bunny, a basket, and a grave have in common? Easter!

4/10/2020

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This is Easter weekend - the weekend that Christians observe the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus, the Christ.
To many this is the most sacred of Christian holidays, to others it's another excuse to eat a special meal, chocolate bunnies, and look for hidden decorated hard boiled eggs.

In America Christian holidays are a mixed bag of activities. These range from the solemn and sacred, such as prayers, songs, gifts, communion, preaching, meditation, etc., to parties with alcoholic beverages, dancing, egg hunts, gift exchanges, special skits and plays, etc.

On this special holiday, remember to pray for the health of our country, both physical health, mental health, and financial health. Please pray for our first responders, nurses, doctors, police, soldiers, firemen, and all other essential personnel, including President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence.

Treat each other with kindness, respect, and Christian love. Don't look down on anyone or up to anyone, we are all the same in God's eyes. We are all worthy and needed. No one is non-essential in God's eyes - no one.

You may not be able to gather together as a family or a congregation, but you can still study the scriptures, celebrate with prayer and thanksgiving, and worship God for giving us his son.

Large Easter egg hunts and picnics may have to wait for another day, but we can still thank God for the food we have.

If you are healthy the number one thing to be thankful for during at this time in our life is our health and the health of our family. We should pray for the healing of those who are not healthy.

Even in the midst of this pandemic, we have so much to be thankful for.

Be thankful and enjoy the Easter Weekend!

xoxo

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SPECIAL: COVID-19 and Staying Social - Whether 6 feet away or 6000 miles away - It can be done

4/3/2020

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With everyone on "lockdown" or "hunkering in-house" or whatever you want to call it during this COVID-19 crisis, it can be lonely if we fail to pay attention.

Attention to physical needs such as toilet paper, hand sanitizer, masks, etc., are important - especially food. In the hustle and isolation we sometimes forget that we have wonderful technology available that makes staying in touch possible for almost everyone.

Writing letters and sending physical cards are nice ways to show you are thinking about someone, but with the danger attached to the virus being spread through the mail system, we can't really rely on those old tried and true forms of communication.

We can, however, still pick up the phone an dial the number of a family member or friend that we miss and want to talk to. That still works and almost everyone has a phone.

What really works well and is almost as good as being face to face in person ( note: I said "almost"), is using computers and smartphones along with available technology to not only talk to a person, but also actually SEE that person or persons.

It is quite possible to have a family reunion of as many as 30 or more family members on the screen at one time to see and talk to each other and share things.

Here are some really cool apps that you can download and use to talk, see, and share screens with one person or with several and most of them are totally free:

Facebook Messenger Video or Audio Only - you can video chat with anyone on your friends list in Facebook easy.
FaceTime – still one of the best options IF your friend or family member has and IOS device (iphone, ipad, Mac, etc.) You can video chat or audio chat.
SKYPE – still available and still an option for those on Android devices. The video has improved over the years, but there are still a few little glitches such as delays and voice is not great (good, but not great).
Zoom – free to use for 40 minutes with as many participants as you would like. Great for family “reunions”, “virtual parties”, etc. They have a few security issues, but it is mostly related to using passwords that are too simple. Use a tight password, you “should” be good. (download Zoom for meetings)
Telephone – a good old phone call is always a great way to communicate. You can keep in touch by calling or texting. Either is better than no contact at all.

It's important to stay socially connected while also socially distancing. Keeping in touch is vital to staying healthy mentally and emotionally. Checking in with each other is not only mentally and emotionally healthy, it is also important.

If someone lives alone, you may their only line to humanity. They may be mentally on the edge and you are the one to bring them back.

This is a tough time to be sequestered, but especially for the elderly, single, or others living alone. Remember, reach out, but do it safely.

Have you ever used FaceTime, SKYPE, Zoom, or Messenger to communicate with friends and family? What is your favorite and why? Do you know of any other available communication outlets that can be used to connect? Share your information and let's help each other get through this scary time.

XOXO

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Creativity: Now is the time to learn something new - Links to Creative Sites for the Over 50 Adult

Book Review: If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? - by Avery Neal

SPECIAL: What does an egg, a bunny, a basket, and a grave have in common? Easter!

SPECIAL: COVID-19 and Staying Social - Whether 6 feet away or 6000 miles away - It can be done

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Creativity: Now is the time to learn something new - Links to Creative Sites for the Over 50 Adult

Book Review: If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? - by Avery Neal

SPECIAL: What does an egg, a bunny, a basket, and a grave have in common? Easter!

SPECIAL: COVID-19 and Staying Social - Whether 6 feet away or 6000 miles away - It can be done

My mission​

Categories

Archives

About

Blog

Contact

My mission