As older adults we have a responsibility to try to help the younger generations navigate the world in a way that makes it better for each generation to come.
We have the opportunity to change the world for women... men have the opportunity to change the world for women and for themselves in a much needed way.
Men can change the course of generations to come for their daughters, granddaughters, wives, sisters, mothers, and all the men in their lives. The question is – Are men willing to change old habits, burst old excuses, and become strong men rather than dogs in a pack?
In DeVon Franklin's book, The Truth About Men, he talks about the dog that every man has within himself. He talks about the excuses that have been created to excuse the bad behavior of men over many generations. It took DeVon a few years to figure out that he was on this "traditional road" and was using these same excuses to “get away with it” and not be held accountable for his bad behavior towards the three lusts of men: the lust for money, the lust for power, and the lust for sex. When he realized what was happening he worked to change, to become disciplined in his thoughts and actions towards these three lusts of mankind.
Here are a few of those manufactured excuses for the bad behavior in men that have been passed down from generation to generation and accepted as true, even though they are lies:
Men will be men.
It's in men's DNA to behave that way.
It'a okay to look, but don't touch.
What my wife/girlfriend doesn't know won't hurt her.
The only difference in men and boys is cost of their toys.
There are many many more excuses, created to excuse men for disrespecting their wives/girlfriends, their bosses, or chasing greed.
This isn't a new thing, it has been this way for a long, long time and in every country. Some countries are worse than others when it comes to these behaviors.
Society has promoted this “it's a man's world” mentality through the increased access to pornography through the internet, relaxed restrictions on R and X ratings on movies, and the changes to music lyrics (more sexual and degrading to women). All of these creative outlets have lead to the objectification of women as being normal and acceptable.
Specifically, in Hollywood and the music Industry, many men have succumbed to the three lusts of man : They make a lot of money, they gain a lot of power, and the women flock to them and they go with it. Inevitably it leads to the wreckage of their lives or at the very least destruction of their careers and/or marriages.
When DeVon speaks “training the dog”, he is not referring to women training men. He is referring to men training themselves to control the dog within them.
He states that this “dog” in men has been left untrained for far too long and has developed into a “pack” mentality. In other words, guys follow guys and thus the behavior continues. If men could learn to train the dog within themselves, before long that would become the norm and the pack mentality would result in a pack of trained dogs.
Trained dogs that are more respected, more attractive to women, and more inclined to behavior that promotes happy lives for all.
There are a lot of really good, strong, men in this world. They are the ones that remain silent when their male friends make sexual remarks about a woman they see who is not their wife. He is the one who looks at a woman and sees God's creation, not a sexual object put there for his personal gratification.
These wonderful men work hard but are not ruled by money. They are powerful, but they use it wisely and respectfully.
They love women, but respect them as humans and as individuals, not as objects to be admired physically.
These are men who do not think jokes that put women in a sexually objective light are funny and will not participate or repeat.
These are the men who have trained the dog within them and become the master of their own minds, hearts, and lives. These are truly strong men to be admired.
I recommend this book to the men who read my blog and to the male friends and family of all readers of my blog.
I also recommend that women read this book (even though DeVon wrote it primarily to men) so that they can encourage their men and be aware of the changes they are trying to make.
While I used the audio version of this book that I obtained from my library, if you don't have access to a copy at your library, you can purchase it on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/35tLLuR
Let's encourage men to become the real men they were meant to be instead of pack of untrained dogs so we can also get rid of this excuse:
“Men, can't live with them, can't live without them.”
- Sheryl 2020 -
(Reword of a quote from Desiderius Erasmus, Dutch Philosopher)
Remember, we (the over 50 adult) have a lot of influence over the younger generations, if we approach it right. Suggesting a book like DeVon Franklin's is a good starting place, if they will read it. The biggest influence is in how we behave, the example we set, the life that we lead.
Do you as a woman, feel that men get away with far too much and that those common excuses (men will be men, etc.) contribute to the acceptance of this bad behavior? As men, do you see the dog in yourself? Is your dog trained or does he run wild with the pack? Comments are encouraged.