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Health and Wellness: It's Your Choice! Old? Or Older?

6/26/2020

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Old vs Older - that's a play on words, but there is a difference. 
Let me tell why I choose older, rather than old.


Everyone is growing older, but not everyone grows old. From the moment you are born you are growing older everyday. After you pass certain milestones in your life you either gain skills, privileges and health or you lose skills, privileges, and good health.

For example, at age 11 to 13, you reach puberty and gain certain privileges as well as unique changes to your body. At the age of 16, you are eligible to drive a motorized vehicle. When you turn 18, you can join the military and vote, you can also marry (if you choose) with no one's approval. At 21, you are considered an adult and all that goes with adulthood.

When you turn certain ages after age 21, a lot depends on your health and what you have done to take care of your body. Youth is forgiving, adulthood not so much. However, once you cross over into your 50's it is vital that if you have not taken care of your body (and mind) that you do so now and don't stop.

It can make the difference in living a full active life of independence until your nineties or spending your remaining years bent over, taking medications, and possibly living in a facility that provides everyday care for you. Which one do you want?


A few days ago I found this meme.
(Yes, whoever created this meme used the word "woman" instead of "women", but you still get the idea.)

The lady on the left is "older", the lady on the right is "old".

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This meme represents your options. This applies to men as well.
If you don't take care of yourself with a healthy diet, daily exercise, and mental challenges, you will end up like the lady on the right. She is frail, slumped over, and requires a walker. Most likely she is not as happy as she could be.

If you do take care of your mind and body, you could end up like the lady on the left. Strong, straight, walking and maybe jogging, and able to think clearly.

 (The lady on the left is Ernestine Shepherd. She didn't start bodybuilding until she was 56 years old! She started because she was trying to encourage her sister who had developed health issues. After her sister passed away, she kept bodybuilding and according to the Guinness Book of World Records, became the oldest living body building competitor in the world.) 

The lesson I continually drive home in my blogs is that in order to remain independent in old age, you MUST take care of your body and mind. Staying active by walking everyday is a minimum! 

So, when it comes to being old or older, I choose older. Everyone gets older.... I refuse to get old. 

It's your choice! What will you choose? OLD or OLDER?

XOXO
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Life: Rudeness - What do you do? - 7 Ways to Deal With Rudeness

6/19/2020

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The older I get the less drama I want in my life.
I want peace and loving relationships. Truthful relationships are an absolute must as I get older, I don't have the energy to try to figure something out. Just tell me the truth and let me deal with it. But also, be ready to get the truth back and
deal with it.


Rudeness is probably my biggest pet peeve. People, even good friends and family, can be rude at times. I can be rude at times. They don't intend to be rude, as I don't intend to be rude, but never the less, it does happen. I don't hold that against anyone as it is just part of life.


Rudeness can be a result of not feeling well, being depressed, being too busy, or any number of other reasons. It is not an “old” person's issue, it is a “human” issue.


Then there are those who are rude just to be rude - to show their perceived power or position, to cause or inflict fear, or for any other of a number of 'reasons'. Those are the ones I have issues with. There's no reason to be rude on purpose to anyone. If you have issues with someone, talk to them.


How do I know what to do?
Here are a 6 ways to deal with rudeness:


1. Use humor to turn the situation around. Usually when a person is rude it's because they are upset about something else and you just happen to be the one nearby to receive the reaction. If you can find a common topic of humor you may be able to not only turn this person around, but also change their day.


2. Use kindness to turn the situation around. This is the one of the hardest things to do – be kind when someone is being rude to you or someone near you. If you can be kind, it allows the rude individual to calm down and rethink their position. Generally, they will begin to respond in a more positive way. Either way, you know you did the right thing.


3. Showing empathy or even sometimes sympathy is another way to handle rudeness. If the person thinks you can identify with their feelings, they are most often willing to respond in a nicer way. Sometimes rudeness is a reflection of the feeling of not being heard. When we know that someone understands why we are being rude, that may be all it takes to turn it around to a positive.


4. Set a good example, don't let the person drag you into their rudeness. Respond with kindness, humor, empathy, sympathy, or whatever it takes to diffuse the situation. Do the right thing, you will never regret that decision.


5. Try not to let the situation get out of control and don't return rudeness with rudeness (unless you are forced to and that is rarely the case, there is almost always another way to handle it.) Sometimes no matter what you do, you can not avoid rudeness or change someones attitude so rather that be rude back,
just walk away.


6. Sometimes all you can do is just walk away or avoid that person or situation. Before you allow yourself to return rudeness for rudeness – just leave.
It's that easy.


Remember: Rudeness will always be around. Don't take it as a personal assault, most of the time it has nothing to do with you. Don't be part of the problem, be part of the solution.
Always stay calm.


Have you had this situation with someone close to you? How did you handle it? Did it turn out well or do you wish you had handle it another way? Please start the conversation and share your thoughts and experiences, it will help all of us, including me.
​


XOXO
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Book Review: The Truth About Men - by DeVon Franklin (A great book mostly for men, but also for women)

6/12/2020

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Evolution. When we hear this word, visions of monkeys and apes no doubt appear in our minds. That is not the evolution I am speaking of.... it's the evolution of man to be the man he was meant to be.


As older adults we have a responsibility to try to help the younger generations navigate the world in a way that makes it better for each generation to come.

We have the opportunity to change the world for women... men have the opportunity to change the world for women and for themselves in a much needed way.

Men can change the course of generations to come for their daughters, granddaughters, wives, sisters, mothers, and all the men in their lives. The question is – Are men willing to change old habits, burst old excuses, and become strong men rather than dogs in a pack?


In DeVon Franklin's book, The Truth About Men, he talks about the dog that every man has within himself. He talks about the excuses that have been created to excuse the bad behavior of men over many generations. It took DeVon a few years to figure out that he was on this "traditional road" and was using these same excuses to “get away with it” and not be held accountable for his bad behavior towards the three lusts of men: the lust for money, the lust for power, and the lust for sex. When he realized what was happening he worked to change, to become disciplined in his thoughts and actions towards these three lusts of mankind.


Here are a few of those manufactured excuses for the bad behavior in men that have been passed down from generation to generation and accepted as true, even though they are lies:


Men will be men.


It's in men's DNA to behave that way.


It'a okay to look, but don't touch.


What my wife/girlfriend doesn't know won't hurt her.


The only difference in men and boys is cost of their toys.


There are many many more excuses, created to excuse men for disrespecting their wives/girlfriends, their bosses, or chasing greed.

This isn't a new thing, it has been this way for a long, long time and in every country. Some countries are worse than others when it comes to these behaviors.


Society has promoted this “it's a man's world” mentality through the increased access to pornography through the internet, relaxed restrictions on R and X ratings on movies, and the changes to music lyrics (more sexual and degrading to women). All of these creative outlets have lead to the objectification of women as being normal and acceptable.


Specifically, in Hollywood and the music Industry, many men have succumbed to the three lusts of man : They make a lot of money, they gain a lot of power, and the women flock to them and they go with it. Inevitably it leads to the wreckage of their lives or at the very least destruction of their careers and/or marriages.


When DeVon speaks “training the dog”, he is not referring to women training men. He is referring to men training themselves to control the dog within them.

He states that this “dog” in men has been left untrained for far too long and has developed into a “pack” mentality. In other words, guys follow guys and thus the behavior continues. If men could learn to train the dog within themselves, before long that would become the norm and the pack mentality would result in a pack of trained dogs.

Trained dogs that are more respected, more attractive to women, and more inclined to behavior that promotes happy lives for all.


There are a lot of really good, strong, men in this world. They are the ones that remain silent when their male friends make sexual remarks about a woman they see who is not their wife. He is the one who looks at a woman and sees God's creation, not a sexual object put there for his personal gratification.

These wonderful men work hard but are not ruled by money. They are powerful, but they use it wisely and respectfully.

They love women, but respect them as humans and as individuals, not as objects to be admired physically.

These are men who do not think jokes that put women in a sexually objective light are funny and will not participate or repeat.

These are the men who have trained the dog within them and become the master of their own minds, hearts, and lives. These are truly strong men to be admired.


I recommend this book to the men who read my blog and to the male friends and family of all readers of my blog.

I also recommend that women read this book (even though DeVon wrote it primarily to men) so that they can encourage their men and be aware of the changes they are trying to make.


While I used the audio version of this book that I obtained from my library, if you don't have access to a copy at your library, you can purchase it on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/35tLLuR

Let's encourage men to become the real men they were meant to be instead of pack of untrained dogs so we can also get rid of this excuse:


“Men, can't live with them, can't live without them.”
- Sheryl 2020 -
(Reword of a quote from Desiderius Erasmus, Dutch Philosopher)


Remember, we (the over 50 adult) have a lot of influence over the younger generations, if we approach it right. Suggesting a book like DeVon Franklin's is a good starting place, if they will read it. The biggest influence is in how we behave, the example we set, the life that we lead.


Do you as a woman, feel that men get away with far too much and that those common excuses (men will be men, etc.) contribute to the acceptance of this bad behavior? As men, do you see the dog in yourself? Is your dog trained or does he run wild with the pack? Comments are encouraged.
​


XOXO
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Relationships: Opinions - Everybody has them, Nobody seems to want to hear them - Are they good to share?

6/5/2020

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Everybody has opinions. I don't mind hearing peoples opinions, as long as they don't mind hearing mine. We don't have to agree for me to listen to their opinions. If someone wants to share their opinion with me, but they don't want to hear mine, then we have a problem.

If someone wants to share their opinion with me, but they insist that their opinion is right and mine is wrong, then we have a problem.

​Otherwise, opinions are the way we learn about each other and the way we grow.

Sometimes, we over 50 adults, think that because we have lived longer, experienced more, and seen more that our opinions are the right ones. That may or may not be the case. We may be wrong.

Remember when you are discussing a topic with a younger person, to respect their right to their own opinion. If they are not respecting your opinion, try to set the example and encourage them to be more open minded without talking "down" to them. Everyone can learn something new or be wrong.

I found a few thoughts about opinions that I would like to share. Some of these thoughts are insightful, some are comical, and some are just down right good.

Read these thoughts and then in the comments, share what you think of these thoughts on opinions:

"Public opinion is no more than this:
what people think that other people think."
Alfred Austin,
English Poet and Novelist


"There are as many opinions as there are people: each has his own view."

Terence, Roman Comic Playwright,
taken from Phormio - Act 11, scene 4


"Those who never retract their opinions love themselves more than
they love the truth."
Joseph Joubert,
French Moralist and Essayist


"Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice."
Steve Jobs

"The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane."
Mark Twain

"Don't let your opinion sway your judgement."
Samuel Goldwyn

"The greatest deception which men incur proceeds from their opinions."
Leonardo Da Vinci

"Opinion has caused more troubles on this little earth than plagues or earthquakes."
Voltaire

"People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world
is also a confession of character."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Remember, when you give someone your opinion, it is YOUR opinion, not theirs. They will have their own opinion and you should respect that.

Remember, that if their opinion is different than yours, it's okay. You don't have to agree. It's okay. In fact, it makes for interesting conversation as long as no one takes it serious or personal.

Remember, if you over 50, you know a lot and have experienced a lot, but that doesn't mean you know everything. Respect the opinions of younger individuals even when you don't agree. There is a slight chance you could be wrong and even if your right...you don't want to lose that person.

Have you ever shared an opinion only to be met with rudeness? Have you ever heard a young person's (or older person) opinion on something and you know without a shadow of a doubt they are wrong? How did you handle that? Please share any comments, stories, or experiences you have had when exchanging opinions. It can help the rest of us.

XOXO
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    My mission​

    Sharing thoughts and ideas for the woman over 50 that are helpful, fun, creative, inspiring and interesting. Over 50s who want to remain relevant, happy and loving their life.
    On fire for your own life!
    ❤ Sheryl ❤

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