It is an inevitable truth that as we get older, we lose people that are important to us. I have lost both of my parents and I miss them dearly. My husband has lost both of his parents and several of his childhood/adulthood friends. A lot of our friends and family are developing health issues, as we are. There comes a time when we realize, life is coming to a close sooner rather than later and that we have lived more than half of our life already.

How do we find the will to go on when we have lost so many? We must realize that everything comes to an end at some point. We start to date and that ends in marriage, we start raising a family and that ends when the children become adults and on their own, we start working and then we retire, everything has an ending point in life. 
If we are living our lives to the fullest, we can pass through the events of loss a lot easier than if we are simply waiting for the time to pass.
In this example is the truth of dealing with loss. We can stop our own lives and grieve continually until we finally take our last breathe, or we can move on and create a life that the person we lost would be proud of.

Grief has it's place, but living is everything. We should grieve for our losses. Remembering those we have lost is a blessing. I remember my parents, I remember some of the things we did when we were all together. I get a blessing from these memories, but I won't stop my life because my parents are gone.

Yes, we are all going to die, but you don't do yourself or God justice if you fail to live your life to the fullest. Just because we have lost parents, friends, family, (even a child or spouse) to death that's not a reason to die before we have finished living. I realize that my family probably are not looking down on me from some place in heaven, the Bible tells me that is not truth. However,  I do imagine if they would be proud of the way I have lived my life after they have gone on. Imagining that they will some day know what I have done with the life I was given all the way till death, gives me peace and hope. 

If you are still breathing, you can still make a difference in someone's life. As long as you are breathing and your heart is pumping, you can make a differnece in someone's life. Some where there is someone who needs you or need what you have to offer. For example, this blog. I pray that some where there is someone who is getting something they need from the words I write. If I were to say, I'm in my sixties, my grandmother died at 56 and my grandfather died at 57, I am on borrowed time so what's the use...I would miss out on sharing my writing with those who need it. I would miss out on the feedback from those who read my blog and possbily something that I need to learn.

If you are a parent or a grandparent, think about what your child or grandchild would miss if you weren't there. Even if you are alone and have no children or family, there are people who need what you have to offer. They need your encouragement, your company, your smile, lots of things you have that you may take for granted.

Love and remember the ones you've lost, but don't let those losses rob you of your life. Get involved with work, with volunteering, with your church, with your friends if you have some, with your creative side. 

Have you lost a loved one recently? Are you struggling with questions and grief? Are you doing all you can to continue with your own life, thereby, honoring the life of the one you lost? Please share your experiences to help others. 

XOXO

If you ask people what they want most out of life, a lot of them would say freedom. Freedom to work and live the way they want. If you tell me what you want and let me look at your lifestyle, I will tell you what you really want. Sometimes, what we say is not what we do. We say we want freedom and yet we put the Golden Handcuffs on and never find the courage to take them off. The desire is there, the unhappiness is there, but the courage is not there.

For example, someone wants freedom to work at what they love, to travel, and to slow down and enjoy life. They get an offer for a job that pays $150,000 a year and then buy the house and car to match the income. The Golden Handcuffs are on and they are going to be really hard to take off. This person continues to work at this high paying job that they hate and live in a big house that is more than what they really need and one day they wake up and find themselves in their sixties and unhappy. 

They never achieve what they want to achieve personally because the high paying job, that they hate, requires them to be at the beckon call of the employer. They can't go home and relax at the end of the day because they have to work on the upkeep of the oversized house they live in. They are not happy, but they are unable to get those years back.

Plainly said, if you live above your means or with more than you really need, you will be forced to take the job you don't really want but that pays what you need to support the life that you don't need or really want. Instead, live in such a way that if you had to choose between freedom or a sucky job - you can choose freedom.

Now, if you are already in your sixties and looking toward retirement and you have lived your life wearing golden handcuffs, you still have options. The only time you don't have options or choices is when you're dead. So unless you are a ghost, you can still change things. You can't get the time back, but you can make the most of the time you have left. Most of over 50s will live another twenty or thirty years or more. You don't want to spend those years living a life you don't enjoy.

So, here are some ideas for taking off the golden handcuffs and finding freedom if you are at or near retirement:

    1. First thing? Write down everything you owe on - house, car, tvs, furniture, credit cards, etc. Know what you owe. You can't change what you don't know.

    2.  If you own a house or owe very little on it, is it the right size for you? Many people think they need a five bedroom house even when it's just the two of them because the kids may come visit and we need room. Just how much room do they need? If the kids go on vacation and they rent one hotel room for the parents and the children, why can't that be the case at your home? Why can't the grandkids sleep on a sofa bed in the living room or in a sleeping bag on the floor? Why do we need two bedrooms for a once or twice a year sleep over from the  kids? 
    If your house is too big and you owe a lot on it, consider selling it and getting a smaller, more manageable home that you can pay off sooner. The sooner you can get free from a house payment, the sooner you will feel the freedom you desire. That too     big house is costing you more than just a large house payment. The cost of insurance, utilities, and maintenance is adding to the strength of those handcuffs.
    If you find that your house is too big, then you may be able to sell it, buy a smaller house and pay off some of those bills you listed earlier. If you find that it is small,     make the most of it. Not that I am saying to go that small, but the tiny house movement has some really cool  ideas for making more out of less when it comes to houses. Change a few things to give you more room.

    3.  Pick a bill and concentrate on thowing any extra money you have at it. Most people find it easier to focus on a small bill and then when that one is paid off, focus on the next smallest  bill, and so on. Eventually you will be out of debt and that will make freedom more real.

    4.  Stop spending money just to impress or keep up with someone else. At this time in our lives we should not care what other people are doing with their money or what they drive, we should only want to  grow friendships with them and respect differences in lifestyles. Live your life, not what others expect you to live. I have known a few people who had extremely high incomes (some based on work they created themselves     from things they loved to do) and could buy anything they wanted. The difference was they didn't want anything. They  lived simple lives and if you didn't know them, you would never know they were weathly. As  a result, they were able to travel and kick back when ever and where ever they wanted. They  were not tied down with the Golden Handcuffs.

 (NOTE: when my children were growing up, I spent more money than I should because they had interests and I wanted them to experience those interests. While this was good for them, it was not good for our lifestyle and freedom. I changed this way of thinking when they were almost grown and on their own. I wish I had changed it sooner.)

    5.  Decide on what you really want. Where do you want to live? What do you enjoy doing? Do you have a retirement income and just need to supplement? Do you need a full income until you can retire? Are you planning to never retire and want a job you can do from anywhere?  What does your ideal lifestyle look like? You must make decisions and then make more decisions on how to make it happen. Think it through and be realistic Don't jump out there and throw caution to the wind and end up jobless and homeless, but do make a plan to make the changes in your life that gives you what you     want. Then take the steps toward unlocking those Golden Handcuffs.

Make the changes, however small they may be, that will lead to the freedom you want and need in your life. 

Most of the time the only that stands between you and what you want from life (no matter what your age) is the willingness to try and the faith to believe it's possible. Also, we ourselves are often the only obstacle between us and what we want.

    "If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an
                  excuse."               
-  Jim Rohn -

Are you wearing golden handcuffs? Do you know how to get them off? Do you want them off? Be careful not to trade Golden Handcuffs for a ball and chain. Go for real freedom with no retraints, no handcuffs, chains, or debt. Change your mind, change your life, change the world.

XOXO

When I was young there were so many things that I thought were important that now that I am older, I realize are not that important. Choosing a career, a spouse, a religion, etc., are all important no matter what your age. Being accepted by everyone or the 'popular' group or accumulating a lot of 'things' are not so important. The older I get the more I realize that it's the little things that count.

Here are a few things that I feel are important and worth my time (just a few and not in order of importance):

⦁    The sunshine coming through my dining room window and falling on my houseplants. It's beautiful. Take time to enjoy the small things in life.

⦁    Wearing makeup. No matter how old we should take care of our appearance. My great grandmother lived to be 99 and half (she really wanted to make it to 100), and everyday, no matter how she felt when she got up in the morning, she put on make-up, fixed her hair, and got dressed appropriately for the day's activities. She told me one time that after she got up and put herself together, she felt a whole lot better. Good lesson!

⦁    A good cup of tea in the morning while holding my dog and getting love from her. I love my little rat terrier. She always pushes her way into my lap and makes me feel so loved. She is my one true friend who never puts demands on me (except to be fed and go out to pee/poop, ha ha)

⦁    Writing my morning pages. A good brain dump is excellent for starting the day. It releases all those things that are bothering me and allows my mind to be filled with the things of the current day. I can always handle things better after I write all my thoughts down every morning.

⦁    A nice walk outside. It can be in my own yard, at the local park, down the road in front of my house, or anyplace that takes me outside where the grass and trees are. Open air is a good thing and moving your body will keep your body healthy.

⦁    Writing my blog. I love this! I love the people who read my blog and I feel good when I know I have helped someone over 50 feel better about life - about their life.

⦁    Reading a good book. This is as good as taking a vacation. My mind goes whereever the book takes me and I forget time sometimes.
 
⦁    Learning something new. It can be through a class at the local community college (they offer free continuing education classes and some low cost ones, too), listening to a podcast (also free), watching a YouTube video (also free), signing up and watching a free webinar, or reading a book and learning a new skill.

⦁    Talking to my friends and family. I try to connect with someone every day. It may be only one person or it may be several. I have learned that staying connected to other people is very important to feeling good and feeling loved.

⦁    Feeling sorrow when I have lost someone close to me, but then realize that it is a fate we all must face. This causes me to be thankful for my life and also for my God, knowing that when that time comes, I will not be alone...God will be with me.

There are a lot of things that are worth our time and attention. Trying to look like we are still in our 30s is not realistic and is a waste of time. Trying to look the best we can at the age we are is uplifting and makes us feel good. Trying to outrun old age is a waste of time, making the most of the time we have left is a blessing.

No matter how old we are, there is still a lot we can do and should want to do. We should be so lucky as to die doing something we love instead of dying lying on the sofa depressed. 

Our life is not over until we take our last breath...
I want a life that takes that breath away!

The older you get do you find that your priorities have changed? Are you chasing the fountain of youth or living the life of adventure at any age? Do you get up every morning and 'put yourself together' before you start your day? 

XOXO

The start of a new year is when a lot of people make new resolutions to enrich their lives. Unfortunately, most resolutions fall to the wayside within a few weeks (usually within six weeks). The key is to aim for twelve weeks (or three months). In twelve weeks, you have passed that six week failure mark and you have more than likely developed a routine or changed your thinking so that you will succeed.

​  Make a three week, six week, nine week, and a twelve week check-in where you re-evaluate your resolution progress. Mark it on your calendar and when that date comes, do it!

⦁    Decide what you want to change or accomplish this year and write them down. You must write these things down or they will never have a chance of being done.  Name this list: Goals for 2017.

    Make your goals SMART:
        - be SPECIFIC
        - should be MEANINGFUL
        - ACTION ORIENTED (achieveable)
        - should be REALISTIC
        - should be TIMELY

⦁    Number each goal according to its importance. In other words, number 1 should be the goal that is most important to accomplish this year and move on down the list.
⦁    Start with Number 1 and lay out the steps to accomplish this goal. Number each step in order and write the steps directly under the goal.  Make them easy to accomplish by:
        - making steps simple to understand and realistic
        - directly related to the goal
        - include details required to accomplish each step
        - set deadlines and meet those deadlines. If you miss one, reset it immediately and get back on schedule. 
       
⦁    Start with the first step of the first goal and work it until you reach success. Then move to the second step of the first goal until you reach success. Concentrate on this one goal, until you have attained success, then move to the first step of the second goal. Keep track of your progress on your list of steps with your SMART goal.

⦁    Don't overwhelm yourself with too many goals or too difficult goals. If you accomplish one really important goal this year, you have done better than last year. Of course, if you have several easier goals and a couple of difficult goals, then shoot for the moon, and if you fail at least you will land among the stars.
    
⦁    When you have achieved your first goal. CELEBRATE! Make the celebration or reward applicable to your goal. (If it is weight loss, don't reward yourself with something that will add the pounds back on, instead reward yourself with a fun activity or a shopping trip).

And as always, you can email me and share your goals, progress, challenges, or anything that is on your mind. Be sure to comment on this and any other posts. I love feedback!

    "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting
different results."
- Albert Einstein

Stop the insanity and make a real plan. It is still up to you to follow the plan, but you can't follow a plan that you don't have.

What do you want to accomplish in 2017? Do you have a dream that you have waited to work on and this is the year? Are you dealing with a problem and you need a plan to help you find a solution? Turn your resolutions into goals, make a plan and start to work. Time is going to pass no matter what you do. Do you want to end this brand new year and still yearn to reach your goals? Or do you want to end this brand new year having achieved at least one goal and possibly all of your goals? The choice is up to you. Stay positive!

(Credit: Management Review,  November 1981 issue, paper by George T. Doran, There's a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management's goals and objectives) 

XOXO