Being over 50 years old has not come without experience. Every year that I live is one more year of lessons learned, lessons practiced, and lessons taught. One of the most important lessons I have learned, the hard way, is to love myself first.
To love myself before I love someone else, makes loving someone else easier. Being happy with who I am, makes it easy to be myself with someone else. Caring about other people, doesn't require me to forget myself. In fact, if i were to try to love someone before I loved me, would only make me a hard person to get along with, make me unhappy, make me feel neglected, and make me feel alone. It is impossible to truly love another person and make them happy, if you don't like yourself. You have to like your own company, before you can be comfortable with someone else.
Valentine's Day is a day that typically celebrates "couples". But "couples" doesn't have to mean two married people or two people in romantic love with each other. Valentine's Day is really a day to celebrate love...love and love alone.
If you are single, alone, widowed, separated, or divorced, you can still celebrate Valentine's Day and enjoy it. Don't let the lack of a mate make you feel that you are unloved, because someone, somewhere loves you ... even though you may not even know it.
Take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally. If you can be happy with only yourself, you can be happy with another person. If you are not happy with yourself, you will never be happy with another person.
If it's physical unhappiness, you will bring that into your relationship with another person. It will show itself as jealousy, envy, and selfishness. You will always be comparing yourself to someone else, thinking they are prettier or more handsome than you are. If the truth be told, to the one who loves you, you are the most beautiful or handsome in the world - flaws and all.
If it's emotional unhappiness, you will also bring that into your relationship with another person. It will show itself as jealousy, envy, greed, selfishness, and often fear. The fear of not being good enough, fear of losing someone, and other ways that fear shows itself. If you realize your own self-worth, then you will be emotionally happy and you will bring happiness to your relationship.
If it's mental unhappiness, that will be harder to deal with. Often mental unhappiness is the result of a chemical imbalance, hormone imbalance, a side effect of medication, trauma, and a host of other causes. If it is a mental unhappiness, you need to talk to your doctor about causes. It might be as simple as changing a medication.
If you are alone through the death of a partner, divorce or breakup, or you have chosen the single life doesn't mean you can't celebrate Valentine's Day. A valentine can be anyone. It is someone you love ... a niece, a nephew, a friend, your dad or mom, anyone .... including yourself.
I had a friend a few years ago who was alone by choice, she has since passed on. She used to treat herself on Valentine's Day by doing something she never usually does.
Here are some of the things she did during the time I knew her:
1. Spend the day at a spa being pampered.
2. Take a day trip someplace she had never been.
3. She bought herself a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
4. She bought herself an expensive bottle of perfume she loved.
5. She bought herself a new outfit.
6. And other things, like take in a double feature at the movies, then eat someplace she had never been or her favorite place, and a lot of other little things.
If you are alone, here are some other ideas that would be a way of celebrating Valentine's Day:
1. Prepare your favorite meal and binge watch a Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, etc., series.
2. Get your favorite snacks that you never eat (because you are trying to eat healthy, lol) and make it a pajama and movie day.
3. Visit someone who is also alone, like an elderly neighbor, a nursing home, someone in a hospital, take a homemade lunch to someone, etc.
4. Get out of the house and walk. Walk in a park, a mall, your neighborhood, or anywhere you feel like walking. Take in the sunshine and pay attention to all the birds singing, dogs barking, and people chatting.
5. Go to a bakery and indulge in a forbidden treat.
6. Get a massage.
7. Get a real book, with actual paper pages, sit with a cup of hot tea, iced tea, coffee, and read, read, read.
There are so many ways you can treat yourself. You can be with other people or completely alone and still celebrate this day of love.
You must love yourself first! Always take care of yourself!
If you are alone this Valentine's Day, what are you doing to celebrate? What have you done to celebrate this day of love in the past? Most important question...do you love yourself?
Happy Valentine's Day!
XOXO
To love myself before I love someone else, makes loving someone else easier. Being happy with who I am, makes it easy to be myself with someone else. Caring about other people, doesn't require me to forget myself. In fact, if i were to try to love someone before I loved me, would only make me a hard person to get along with, make me unhappy, make me feel neglected, and make me feel alone. It is impossible to truly love another person and make them happy, if you don't like yourself. You have to like your own company, before you can be comfortable with someone else.
Valentine's Day is a day that typically celebrates "couples". But "couples" doesn't have to mean two married people or two people in romantic love with each other. Valentine's Day is really a day to celebrate love...love and love alone.
If you are single, alone, widowed, separated, or divorced, you can still celebrate Valentine's Day and enjoy it. Don't let the lack of a mate make you feel that you are unloved, because someone, somewhere loves you ... even though you may not even know it.
Take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally. If you can be happy with only yourself, you can be happy with another person. If you are not happy with yourself, you will never be happy with another person.
If it's physical unhappiness, you will bring that into your relationship with another person. It will show itself as jealousy, envy, and selfishness. You will always be comparing yourself to someone else, thinking they are prettier or more handsome than you are. If the truth be told, to the one who loves you, you are the most beautiful or handsome in the world - flaws and all.
If it's emotional unhappiness, you will also bring that into your relationship with another person. It will show itself as jealousy, envy, greed, selfishness, and often fear. The fear of not being good enough, fear of losing someone, and other ways that fear shows itself. If you realize your own self-worth, then you will be emotionally happy and you will bring happiness to your relationship.
If it's mental unhappiness, that will be harder to deal with. Often mental unhappiness is the result of a chemical imbalance, hormone imbalance, a side effect of medication, trauma, and a host of other causes. If it is a mental unhappiness, you need to talk to your doctor about causes. It might be as simple as changing a medication.
If you are alone through the death of a partner, divorce or breakup, or you have chosen the single life doesn't mean you can't celebrate Valentine's Day. A valentine can be anyone. It is someone you love ... a niece, a nephew, a friend, your dad or mom, anyone .... including yourself.
I had a friend a few years ago who was alone by choice, she has since passed on. She used to treat herself on Valentine's Day by doing something she never usually does.
Here are some of the things she did during the time I knew her:
1. Spend the day at a spa being pampered.
2. Take a day trip someplace she had never been.
3. She bought herself a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
4. She bought herself an expensive bottle of perfume she loved.
5. She bought herself a new outfit.
6. And other things, like take in a double feature at the movies, then eat someplace she had never been or her favorite place, and a lot of other little things.
If you are alone, here are some other ideas that would be a way of celebrating Valentine's Day:
1. Prepare your favorite meal and binge watch a Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, etc., series.
2. Get your favorite snacks that you never eat (because you are trying to eat healthy, lol) and make it a pajama and movie day.
3. Visit someone who is also alone, like an elderly neighbor, a nursing home, someone in a hospital, take a homemade lunch to someone, etc.
4. Get out of the house and walk. Walk in a park, a mall, your neighborhood, or anywhere you feel like walking. Take in the sunshine and pay attention to all the birds singing, dogs barking, and people chatting.
5. Go to a bakery and indulge in a forbidden treat.
6. Get a massage.
7. Get a real book, with actual paper pages, sit with a cup of hot tea, iced tea, coffee, and read, read, read.
There are so many ways you can treat yourself. You can be with other people or completely alone and still celebrate this day of love.
You must love yourself first! Always take care of yourself!
If you are alone this Valentine's Day, what are you doing to celebrate? What have you done to celebrate this day of love in the past? Most important question...do you love yourself?
Happy Valentine's Day!
XOXO
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