Boy, are they wrong!
People over the age of fifty are actually having more and better sex than those young ones who think our days of romance and orgasms are gone.
One day, if those young ones live long enough, they will see for themselves that sex doesn't go away just because you have had over fifty birthdays...in fact, in a lot of cases, it gets better.
Of course, there are always exceptions to everything...and sex over the age of 50 is no different. There are health issues that can affect actual intercourse in "some" cases, but in a lot fewer than most people realize.
Your brain is actually the biggest and strongest "sex organ" you have. It controls everything from your appetite, to desire, to your thoughts and imagination. If used properly, your brain can solve any problem, even that of a "sexless" marriage.
The key is you have to be willing to go in thought to places you may not be comfortable with. However, if you start, you will find that it opens more and more doors for your health, well-being, happiness, and your life than you ever thought it could.
1. While Erectile Dysfunction becomes increasingly common in older men, more than half never develop it. Most older men suffer not from Erectile Dysfunction, but Erection Dissatisfaction.
Starting around age 50 (often earlier among smokers and/or diabetics), erections change. If a man maintains healthy habits throughout his life, he may never experience any problems. Even if he smoked and drank heavily in his younger years, it's not too late, if he stops smoking and limits alcohol intake.
Also, exercise plays a huge role. If a man stays physically active (regular workouts are wonderful), he can extend his sexual abilities way into his 80s and beyond.
However, if his brain is not engaged - his body will suffer as well.
ED is not just an old guys problem, younger men experience this dysfunction from time to time as well. They are just not as open about it due to the stigmatism that comes with it. (With younger men, perceived reputation is everything.)
ED, if it is truly ED and not a brain shut down, can be treated with medications. Often a healthier lifestyle and physical activity can resolve ED. Most of the time, it is a brain disconnect that can be remedied if the man thinks more positive about himself.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Think about all the older men who go for younger women. It boosts their egos. Even when they have nothing else in common with these younger women, it shows the world that he still "has it" and that boosts his confidence which in turns boosts his sexual functions. These men tend to lack true confidence in themselves and require validation of relevancy.
2. Most older men would prefer a woman closer to his own age, if they were honest. They have more in common with women in their age group and that makes life better in the long run. Only a truly happy and confident man will actually go after a woman his age, because he is not interested in what the world thinks but in what really makes him happy. (Good news for us!)
3. Women who are happy with their own bodies and have self confidence (not validated from outside of themselves, but from within themselves), enjoy sex more than they did when they were younger. They feel less pressure to conform to the world's view of an older female and instead become role models for younger women on how to do it.
In contrast, women who feel self conscience with their own bodies, are less likely to seek a sexual partner even though they desire that relationship, they sometimes fall back on "those days are gone for me". They are not gone.
4. Our Vision of what is “Sexy” is different now.
Self image is just that “self” image. It is not necessarily the way others see us. We can be our own hardest critic, especially women, when it comes to our bodies.
Yes, there things that may make it hard to stand naked in front of someone you love. In truth, after the age of fifty, most of us are looking at the whole person. We want more than just a good looking body, we want a good looking personality. We want someone who is sexy and not just look sexy where our brains are finally realized as valuable.
We want someone we can communicate with both in and out of the bed. Loving and cheerful are suddenly more important than big boobs and smooth skin. Being cheerful, even in the eye of a storm, is a positive sexual marker for us now. We truly know what is important.
5. Older men (and women, but specifically men) are not in a hurry anymore, they take their time. They become better lovers.
When men are young, they are goal oriented. For example: getting the girl to bed fast and making the home run was the end game – the goal. Hormones were strong and egos were fragile.
As men age, they appreciate the process more and more. Hormones are stable and they have a lot of experiences to draw from. They have learned that half the fun is getting there.
Psychology Today stated in an article they published Sex after 50 Can be the best in your life that:
“Young love is hot and juicy, but many young men are all finished and falling asleep before young women have even warmed up to genital play. In addition, young women tend to be less genitally focused than young men and more interested in playful mutual whole-body massage. These gender differences often cause conflict.
But after 50, men’s and women’s erotic sensibilities converge.”
The article goes on to say:
“Compared with young lovers,” says developmental psychologist Richard Sprott, Ph.D., of California State University, East Bay, in Hayward, “older couples are more sexually similar. Couples who appreciate this can enjoy richer, more fulfilling sex at 65 than they had at 25.”
Even when there are physical difficulties in erections and vaginal dryness, older couples are more apt to work through those issues and come out on the other side happier.
Older couples understand life and each other more.
This means women are happier with their men and are more satisfied as a whole. Men also realize that orgasm is just part of the big picture.
6. The children are gone – the house is empty.
The whole house can be a playground for older lovers now. No more worrying about a child coming in at the wrong moment, being so tired from raising children that you have no energy left for sex, and you are no longer limited to your bedroom with the door closed in the middle of the night (so the children don't hear you).
Also, the fear of pregnancy is gone and that alone reduces stress.
As referenced in the Psychology Today article mentioned earlier there is an excellent book written by sexy, 70-year-old, Joan Price, The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50, that is full of information that every couple should read. She deals with every issue that we have as we age in regards to sex and provides sound help.
(It is a book about sex, so don't get upset if you get it and start reading it only to learn more about sex as we age than you ever wanted to know. Just a reminder and warning.)
The bottom line is this:
“No matter what your situation, your age,
or what the world media may tell you,
you are never too old
to enjoy the gift of sex with someone you love.”
February 25, 2019
Are you over 50 and in love? Are you still sexually active? Do you find it better now than when you were younger? Do you have any advice, thoughts, or ideas about sex after the age of 50 that you can share with us?