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Relationships: Suddenly single over 50 - to remarry or not? That is the question.

8/18/2017

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Many people live long and happy lives together with their spouse. We read stories where a couple in their 80's die holding each other or one passes and a few hours or days later, the other passes. These are beautiful stories of lasting love. Unfortunately, it doesn't always happen this way.
Many times, one spouse will pass leaving the other one alone for many more years. The one left has many choices to make and decisions that could change everything they are accustom to.

Some choices or decisions are:

Do I remain single?
Do I remarry?
Who do I marry?
Do I look for a spouse in my church?
Do I look for companionship versus marriage
Do I look for companionship online?
Am I happier single or with someone?
What about a past love?
How will my family respond to my decisions?
Am I better of financially alone or with someone?
Do I really need another person in my life?
And many, many more decisions, choices, and points to consider?

There are many reasons people choose to remain single (widowed). Some are good reasons, others are based on fear. Let's examine some of those reasons.

Some reasons to remain single (widowed or divorced):

(Whether they are good or based on fear is your decision.)
You are also ill and perhaps dying. You don't want to be a burden to someone else.
You enjoy your independence and don't want to be accountable to someone again.
You have plans and another person would prevent you from meeting your goals.
You are involved with other people and you don't have time to devote to a spouse.
You just want to play the field and not be tied to one person.

Some reasons to remarry or seek another companion:
(Whether they are good or based on fear is your decision.)
You love spending time with someone doing things you love.
You want/need affection and long for a human connection.
You are just lonely and need a close, special companion and you hate sleeping alone.
You need emotional support for the remainder of your life.


The future is always unpredictable. No one knows what is ahead of anyone. The key is to be happy and content with what you have and where you are in life.

"Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned
in whatever state I am, to be content:"

Philippians 4:11 New King James Version (NKJV)

Contentment with our life and the current situation we may find ourselves in does not come naturally. It is a choice we make. The apostle, Paul, the writer of the above verse, stated "for I have learned". He had to learn to be content with his situation. Contentment is a decision we make.

So what does it mean to be content?
Here is my definition:


"Confidence in God leads us to a contented life filled with joy, love, peace,
and a celebration of the life we have."

- Sheryl, 2017 -

Whether you choose to remarry or remain single, in order to be happy, you need to be positive and content with your life. Having the knowledge that you are never alone because God is always with you, will relieve the pressure to remarry just to fill a void. Never rush to make a decision to marry (or not) based on fear of the future.

Humans were not made to be isolated and lonely. By nature we are drawn to other people. We need interaction with members of both sexes. Those interactions can come from a number of places besides marriage.

You are the only one who can decide what you want during the remainder of your life. Whatever your decision, don't let peer pressure or experts or anyone tell you what you need or what you should do. Don't let fear make this important decision for you either. Be brave, think it through, make the decision. It is your life, your decision, your future.

Do you live alone? Are you content to live alone? Do you want to remarry or be in another committed relationship with another person? Share any experiences you have had that may help others.
​

XOXO
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