Everyone hears about the older man who leaves his older wife for a younger woman. It happens. Some men choose younger women for a number of reasons. Of course, the main reason is that the man is most likely feeling old and when a younger woman shows him any attention, it stirs unrest and he begins his venture to find his lost youth.
However, that is not always the case. There is a little talked about phenomenon about younger men and older women. There is a growing group of younger men who prefer older women, but we seldom hear about them. They are out there and you may be surprised at who they are.
"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -
I have experienced this myself
(one that I will share....lol).
I was 49 years old and one of my daughter's 19 year old male friends showed a subtle interest in me. I assumed he was friendly to me because of my daughter. The realization of what was going on occurred during a bowling tournament in which my daughter was competing. Afterwards, she and a couple of her team members continued to bowl for fun. I ventured to the pool table to watch the games. This young man (who was very tall and looked older than 19) was playing pool. During the game, he would come over and get a drink of his soft drink that was on the shelf next to me. He kept coming to drink more often and when he did, he would comment about how nice I looked or ask me if I played pool, and other small talk. When the game was over I walked away, but I walked within a foot of him in order to leave the crowded pool area. He touched my arm and leaned over to say "no one would have to know". I looked at him and then I realized what he was saying. My response was "I would, so no."
This young man was a nice person, he was not trying to be disrespectful. He was making an attempt to approach me as an adult, but he failed. He was too young. He and my daughter remained bowling friends and nothing was ever said. He never approached me again. This story is only to illustrate my point that some young men are attracted to older women for a number of reasons.
Overheard: I like the idea of OLDER WOMEN and YOUNGER MEN
- it tends to UPSET all the RIGHT PEOPLE.
According to an AARP survey of 3,500 older singles, 34 percent of women in the 40-to-69 age group date younger men and 14 percent of women age 50 to 59 say they prefer dating men in their 40s or younger. (Dating and Romance: A Study of Midlife Singles, AARP Magazine, September 2003, http://assets.aarp.org/rgcenter/general/singles.pdf)
Elite for Singles conducted a study of over 450,000 online daters and found that men, ages 20 to 29, prefer to date older women. The study also found that the average length of an older woman/younger man relationship lasted two years. (https://www.elitesingles.com/mag/relationship-advice/older-women-dating-younger-men)
Why? Why are younger men attracted to older women? Why are older women attracted to younger men?
Think on these:
1. The older woman has most likely already filled her need for a family and the traditional "nest" making. She is ready to regain some of her lost youth. A younger man is most likely not looking to start a family or traditional marriage. He can benefit from the relationship by learning about life and love emotionally, mentally, and physically from the older woman.
2. Many of the younger men grew up after the feminist movement and are less sexist than their fathers. The also tend to be less interested in money and status. An older woman has more confidence and has already accomplished a lot, therefore the relationship takes priority instead of the career.
3. Sam Owen, EliteSingles Partner psychologist, believes "young men nowadays probably also recognize that older women are adept at diligently juggling so many responsibilities (career, children, housekeeping, fitness, finances, socializing), which makes them intriguing and attractive and a more secure option."
The younger man and older woman scenario is played in real life over and over again. It just doesn't get the attention that an older man with a a younger woman is given. One example of a "successful" younger man/older woman relationship is country musician/singer, Randy Travis (57) who married his manger-wife, Elizabeth Hatcher-Travis (75), in 1991. They were married for 19 years. He was 32 and she was 59 when they married. Another example: Demi Moore was 33 years old and Ashton Kutcher was 27 when they married in 2005. Their marriage lasted 8 years.
The studies show that women are more appreciated and valued as they age now more than in the past. It's not that younger women are inferior, but older women are still valuable.
"Older women know who they are,
and that makes them more beautiful than younger ones.
I like to see a face with some character.
I want to see lines. I want to see wrinkles."
- Naveen Andrews, British Actor -
("Lost", "The English Patient",
"Rollerball" remake of 2002,
and many other films)
If in old age you find yourself single again, whether by divorce or death, do not despair. The world is changing. Growing old is not what it used to be.
Age is more than just a number,
it is an attitude!
What is your attitude about growing older? Have you ever been approached by a younger man who was interested in dating you? Would you ever consider a younger man? If you are a man, would you ever consider an older woman as a date? What are your thoughts on this trend of older women and younger men dating and marrying?