With these changes and experiences comes choices. We must make choices as to how we want the remainder of our life to go. Do we stay alone? Do we seek companionship? Do we seek another marriage partner? Do we fill our lives with charities, social causes, religion, or what ever else there is? Regardless of where we are physically, emotionally, we must make choices. We must make decisions.
No matter what decision or choice we make,
it carries consequences and also, blessings.
For example, we choose to remain alone. Blessing could be that we are free to come and go as we please without seeking permission or answering to anyone else. What freedom that would be! The consequence is that at the end of each day, we lay in bed alone. No one to talk to, no one to snuggle with, no one to just fill empty space in our bed. We also will be eating more meals at home alone.
On the other hand, we choose to seek a companion. That person may have special needs that we are not prepared to meet. They may require a lot more time than we are used to giving in the way of watching TV, talking, just being together. However, there is always someone who cares, to talk to, share your life with...that's the blessing.
As we discussed in last week's blog on dating. There are many questions to ask ourselves before we make these decisions. It is important that we take into account our needs. It is also important to take into account what we want our life to be like.
This is the time where we should be thinking of ourselves more.
I suggest making a list of what you want. For example:
- I want to travel more,
- I want to volunteer more,
- I want to sew more,
- I want to start a business,
- I want more time to spend with my grandchildren,
- I want someone to travel with,
- I want someone to come home to each day,
- I want to have someone to sleep beside me at night,
- I want to down size into a smaller house,
- I want to do what I want to do without checking with anyone else,
Once you know what you want, make another list of things you know you don't want. For example:
- I don't want to answer to anyone else,
- I don't want to provide care for another person other than my children or grandchildren,
- I don't want to move from my home,
- I don't want to be alone the rest of my life,
- I don't want to work anymore,
- I don't want a pet,
Knowing what you don't want is just as important as knowing what you want. Once you know what it will take to make you happy, then go in that direction.
Don't let other people (although they may be well meaning) influence your choices. For example, don't stay single if your best friend says she would never remarry again. That is her choice, not yours, you may want to marry again.
Do what makes you happy. This is your time, your life, and your future. Most of us are living longer and healthier lives now than our parents did, why not live longer and happier as well?
February is the month of love...
not just love for someone else, but love for yourself.
Love yourself first!
Have you ever made a list of the things you want in life? How about a list of the things you don't want? Have you ever given thought to your future? Share your experiences with all of us, together we can navigate the changes to come in our lives as we age.