On Fire and Over 50
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact

Grieving Losses: 10 Suggestions to Survive the Holidays after the death of a child, spouse, or loved one – It's Tough!

12/14/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
(I run this article every year about this time. I have many requests for it.
This year alone I have experienced 6 deaths between family and friends.
It is hard to carry on sometimes. I hope this continues to help
anyone who is facing this situation.)

I​
f you ask anyone who has lost a loved one, they will tell you it's hard to return to the life you had before the loss. That loss changes your life in varying degrees. If you ask someone who has lost a child, they will tell you it's devastating and impossible to return to life as it once was.

We who are over 50 strive to eat healthy, exercise, and live longer. We must also remember that the longer we live, the more losses of friends and family through death we will face. It's important to develop skills and a community to help ourselves and others deal with these losses.

As an over 50 person, I know I have experienced a lot of losses already in my life. The journey thru the fifties prepares us for the later years. Losing our hair, gaining weight, hormone changes, creaky joints, daily medications, etc. We have also most likely experienced the death of a loved family member. Still we struggle to survive the holidays without them.

I spoken to several of my friends and family about how they have dealt with the loss of a child or a loved one. I also researched suggestions from professional sources, such as a preacher, a church elder, a family counselor, and a doctor.

Here are the results of my research and interviews. I hope that this information helps someone whether you have lost a loved one, friend, or a child, or you are trying to help someone else who has experienced loss:

1.  You may not feel like celebrating the first holiday and that's okay.
You don't owe anyone an explanation. 
​
2.  Sometimes getting away from home for the holidays is a good idea.
Different surroundings,
different traditions being made, and separation from reminders of holidays past. Stay in a different town or city, state or country, in a hotel or B&B, just somewhere different. It can ease the pain of the missing loved one.


3.  You need at least one person that you can call on at any time during the holiday season.
Someone you trust,
someone who will just listen,
someone who is always available or
at least most of the time,
so that when you have a bad time,
you can call and talk through it.


4.  If you have a grave to go to, decorate it. It helps to include that loved one
in the holiday and not leave them out.
If you don't have a grave to visit,
such as in cremation,
decorate the container or
the area around the container.


5.  Donate to a charity, church, fund, or some other organization that helps others in your loved ones name.
Help someone else while helping yourself and memorializing your loved one. Volunteer someplace and help someone else in the memory of your loved one.


6.  If you have a bereavement group to attend, go.
Share your feelings with those who have experienced what you have, people who know what you are going through. 


7.  Try to focus and reflect on the reason for the holiday.
For example, Christmas,
a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus; Easter is a time to reflect on Christ sacrifice for all mankind; etc.


8.  Don't follow the family traditions of making cookies, putting up a tree, lighting your house outside, or anything that you don't feel like doing.
You are not at your normal energy level. Emotionally you are drained which also drains you physically.


9.  Connect with your spiritual self.
Trust in God. Talk to God, pray to God, read God's word, go to worship services, and be honest.
God is the one that understands.


10.  Do what makes you feel better,
do not let anyone tell you
that it's time to move on.

You are the only one who knows
when that time is.
This is not their journey, it is yours. Everyone is different, some take longer than others to move forward.
You never get over a loss, you only learn how to survive it.


Another consideration is medication. While it is better to handle issues without medication, sometimes we need to rely upon a mood enhancer or stress reducer to help us get through these holidays. There is nothing wrong with that, but just be sure that you don't allow yourself to become dependent on them. At some point you must learn to handle your emotions without medication.  

It will get easier and you will get through this. It may seem like your world has ended and you are stuck in the darkness, but light will one day shine again. Each holiday season will get easier. It will never be the same and you shouldn't expect it to be. Later, you will establish new traditions while still remembering your lost beloved. Don't rush, take your time.

Next week, I am discussing what to do if you are the friend or family member of someone who has had a loss of a child, spouse, or other loved one.
How do you help them? What to say or not say. How can you be supportive when you have no idea how your friend or family member feels?

XOXO

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    My mission​

    Sharing thoughts and ideas for the woman over 50 that are helpful, fun, creative, inspiring and interesting. Over 50s who want to remain relevant, happy and loving their life.
    On fire for your own life!
    ❤ Sheryl ❤

    Categories

    All
    Beauty
    Book Review
    Creativity
    Empty Nest
    Encouragement
    Grieving Losses
    Health And Wellness
    Life
    Money Over 50
    Product Review
    Relationships
    Sex After 50
    SPECIAL
    Travel

    Archives

    July 2021
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015

    RSS Feed

  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact

About

​Who Am I?


Blog

​​Read or Comment
​

Contact

Contact Me
​

All content and photographs/artwork/graphics are the property of On Fire and Over 50. Feel free to share if you  give credit to this site. 

Growing older, but not up!
On Fire and Over 50 ®
is a Registered Trademarked TM 2015
© COPYRIGHT 2015-2016-2017-2018-2019-2020
​ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
.