“Grief, no matter how you try to cater to its wail,
has a way of fading away.”
V.C. Andrews, Flowers in the Attic
If you ask a child what Christmas means to them, you will most likely get a response like "Santa!" or "I want to go see Christmas lights, please?" Children see the good things in everything. As children grow older, they change and by the time they are our age, a lot has changed.
As we get older, for many over 50s, Christmas takes on a whole new meaning. It stops being about the Santa, lights, gifts, and parties and becomes what it was meant to be. It slowly transitions from the material to the spiritual and mental. The time we have left on this precious earth begins to become more about spiritual things, family and friends, and reflection.
“To ease a grieving heart is the world's greatest pleasure, more so, when the heart is yours.”
Indian Author and Blogger
For some, Christmas becomes a stressful holiday. The holiday season can become a time of increased sadness and a feeling of loneliness. The causes for this stress are numerous, recent divorces, the death of a spouse or child, the loss of friends through illness and death, physical distance from family members, family squabbles (which can occur at any age), a personal illness, and many other reasons.
After the age of 50, we have most likely lost a friend or two or family members through to illness or death. It changes things in a big way. The whole left by the missing person stays with you throughout the whole season. Does this mean that your holiday is ruined or not enjoyable? No. It means it is only different.
This month I have added a new blog category "Grieving Losses". In this category, you will find blog articles that offer help, not only for surviving the holidays, but for other times of the year, as well.
I will also include some extras from time to time that will be not only helpful, but also interesting. I will be posting a new article in this category next week, but you can now easily find past articles just by clicking on the "Grieving Losses" in the "Category" area on the right side of the blog.
Grieving losses is more than just about the people we have lost, it is also the loss of our health, loss of mobility, loss of our youthful beauty (but gaining our "Golden" beauty, : ) ) or anything in our lives that changes in a negative way.
“Grieving is an expression of gratitude,
and that expression doesn't have to be rushed.”
Carolyn Wells, Start Again, Inspiration from the Sunny Side of Adversity
While there is a difference in grieving a death and grieving a life event, the emotion is the same only more intense and longer lasting with a death. The emotion is the same, but the intensity is different.
The grieving process is basically the same, except that with life events you are not grieving the loss of a relationship. The stages of grief can be similar, but you experience additional stages of loss with a death.
It is easier to put a recovery plan together with life events than with a death. Often a death will cause the griever to experience depression and not just sadness or disappointment.
“It's not that I want to forget
It's just that sometimes
It hurts to remember”
Forgetting is hard if not impossible when it's a death, but life events they will pass.
We never forget our loved ones or their passing.
A life event will pass and we will forget most of the time.
Remember to check out my December blogs under “Grieving Losses” for help in getting through the holiday season. During this month of December, I will be posting a blog (maybe two) about grieving and surviving the holidays and how to dig ourselves out the depression hole.
Have you experienced a life event that felt like your world was coming to an end? What did you do to get past it? Have you experienced a death that left you feeling like your world did end? How were you able to survive? Did you do it alone or with help? Please comment on this important article. Help someone else.